+Bad Catholics+ Frank Iero

+19+

Rain trickled against the window in front of my desk as I silently did my homework. Though I now had the house to myself, I could realistically do my homework anywhere I pleased, but I couldn't seem to go anywhere other than my own room. Most of the time I had to convince myself just to go down into the kitchen for a glass of water. I guess that's at least a step above being afraid to enter the house in general.

The first few days were difficult. Not a single lock was left untouched at any moment, and every corner I turned I had prepared for the worst. I just couldn't get it out of my head that whoever may have poisoned Beth likely knew where I lived- and worse, knew that I was there. It didn't help that I had to deal with grieving for her on top of that. That god forsaken house made me feel like I was the one being poisoned.

It was just one more reason why I needed to graduate, and quickly. The sooner I could leave for college, the sooner I could start a new life. Change my name, again. Change everything about me so that maybe for once I could stop being so scared all of the time.

Tomorrow was the last day of Frank's suspension, and I didn't know how I felt about it. Perhaps I didn't want to admit that I was sort of looking forward to it, in a way. Even if I couldn't say anything about what was going on, it was still nice to have someone to talk to. My world had fallen completely silent other than him, but I was too stubborn to believe that.

The rain grew stronger, a few specks of water coming through the screen of my open window and a cooling breeze to follow. I hugged my father's sweatshirt tight to my body and leaned over my desk to shut the window, locking it before I stood. I turned toward my bedroom door and stared at it for a moment, sick of trying to assure myself that there wasn't someone waiting for me on the other side. Sometimes I just wished I was right for once so I could get the whole thing over with.

I made my way downstairs to find something for dinner and saw a pile of mail on the floor in front of the mail slot, grabbing it on my way to the kitchen.

"I really have to go grocery shopping," I mumbled to myself, staring at the mostly empty fridge.

I popped some leftovers in the microwave and leaned against the kitchen counter, beginning to flip through the mail to be sure nothing important had come through regarding Beth.

Bill, bill, junk, ad, junk. An unmarked white envelope.

I tilted my head at the envelope, tossing the rest of the mail onto the counter. I rotated it around in my hands inspecting it. There was no return address, nor a mailing address, so it had to have been hand-delivered by whoever it was from. Hand delivered that day, as a matter of fact. It wasn't there when I got home from school that day. I could tell it wasn't empty- there was just barely enough weight to it that could feel it in my hands.

I wrestled Beth's letter opener from one of the kitchen drawers and sliced open the top, revealing several photos inside. My hands shook as I pulled them out, dropping the envelope to the floor once I realized what they were photos of.

They were photos of me. Photos of me at the lake with Frank a few days prior.

I instantly felt sick to my stomach as I shuffled through them, getting the feeling like I might pass out. There was a photo of me standing on the railing of the bridge, a zoomed in photo of my face. A photo of me floating on my back in the water. They were blurry, but they couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

"Oh my god," I said aloud to myself, turning to lean against the counter. "Oh my god," I said again, running to the front doors and windows to check all of the locks. I made sure all of the curtains were closed shut in the front windows and rushed back to the kitchen, turning the photos face down on the counter before rushing for the phone.