+Bad Catholics+ Frank Iero

+18+

I was already coughing by the time I breached the surface of the water. Too anxious from the adrenaline of jumping, I sort of forgot to hold my breath before I made it in.

"Oh my god Frank," I sputtered, my legs circling in a bicycle motion to keep my body afloat. "I thought you said it felt good in here."

"Good doesn't mean warm," he laughed, swimming laps around me.

I rolled my eyes and swallowed a shiver, looking around us. It really was a beautiful day- I just wished the water was as warm as the air felt. That, and I kind of wished I wasn't half naked in the middle of nowhere.

"You're never going to warm up if you just float there," he taunted.

"Who said I was staying in? I jumped in, that counts."

"Suit yourself, but you'll be sitting in my car all wet while I have all of this fun by myself," He said, swimming toward me. "And god forbid I see your nips poking through when you get out. You really are cold, aren't you? You could probably cut a fucking diamond right now-"

"Frank!" I gasped and covered my chest, trying to stifle a laugh. "You sick freak," I snickered as I splashed him in the face.

"Ah, stop!" Frank laughed, blocking his face from the splashes and giving a few back. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding."

I shook my head and back-stroked away from him, trying to take his advice. My plan did sort of work, in a way. The thought of the empty house and Beth completely left my mind, at least until it popped back in at the first semblance of silence. My anxiety seemed to disappear the moment we pulled into the lot, and I'm not sure I could explain why. Maybe the ridiculous and uncomfortable things Frank steered me into doing were good enough distraction, even if only for a short time. I realized that I would take a short time over nothing.

Truthfully, I didn't know what I was going to do. Beth's passing could have been a fluke- but what were really the chances of that being the case? The statistics I formed in my head didn't agree with the narrative I wanted to be gospel. I spent the entirety of my time in school earlier that day trying to put the pieces together on who could have done it and how, but I was at a loss. All I knew was that it wasn't an accident, and it was in relative to my father. I felt that my secrets weren't the only things in danger anymore- the real danger was mine to be had.

That was scarier than any stupid inkling Frank would have from our night at the train tracks.

"Alright, I think it's time to fess up," Frank interrupted me out of thought.

I swiveled to face him, my heart dropping.

"Fess up? About what?" I played dumb, hoping to god he didn't know something I didn't want him to know.

He waded toward me and wiped the water out of his face, droplets from his hair sticking to his lips.

"You didn't fight with me about a ride home, and you asked me to hang out. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but that's not really normal for you."

"Oh," I looked at him, my heart rate slowing back down. He waited patiently for an answer, but I couldn't help but notice the color of his eyes- they looked nearly green in the sunlight.

"Well at least you're still completely zoning out on me, that means some things are still normal," He said, smirking.

"Sorry," I shook it off and broke eye contact. "I, er- School, you know. It's just a little stressful, that's all," I lied.

Frank rolled his eyes and squinted at me, shaking his head.

"I guess I'll just pretend like that's the truth until you actually tell me what's wrong," He said, swimming backwards again. "I'll get you to crack one of these days."

I frowned as I watched him drift further away. Part of me wished I could just tell him what was wrong, so that I wouldn't have to feel the weight of constant lies. I couldn't.

"Do you know why I took you here?" He asked.

"You like making me do stupid things I don't want to do?"

Frank laughed, playfully shaking some of the water off of his hair.

"Besides that. Come here, toward the center."

I raised an eyebrow but followed his instructions, swimming toward him into the center of the lake.

"I'll let you in on a little Frank secret- since you won't give me anything, I'll have to spew enough bullshit for the both of us. When I was younger my parents divorced in the summer. That summer I used to ride my bike all the way here so I could be alone and just float on my back in the middle of the lake, and just think. It always helped. Actually, I'm not sure if I would have gotten through all of that shit if I didn't do it."

I narrowed my eyes at him, studying his face. Somehow those few simple sentences cast a different kind of light on him that I had yet to see. I couldn't quite explain it, but it was different.

"Do you still do that sometimes?" I asked.

"You caught me," He smiled. "Yeah, sometimes."

I watched the tiny water drops stuck to his eyelashes shimmer in the sun, his facial features suddenly looking so much softer than they did in my memory. I don't know why I was suddenly noticing things about Frank that I never noticed before- it kind of felt like every time I saw a tiny sliver of him that made him seem more human, they adhered together into larger and larger pieces. Kind of like when you're a kid and you think you see a monster in the corner of your room, but the more light you shine on it, the more you realize it's just a pile of clothes on a chair.

"Is that part on the list?"

"It is now," Frank smiled, leaning back into the water.

I watched him begin to float on his back, looking up at the sky above us.

The turmoil outside of that moment was still there, and I knew that. I knew that it would be waiting for me when I got back in the car, and walked into my house. I knew that it would follow my every move, snapping at my heels and stealing sleep from me. But until then- until my bare feet buried themselves into the dirt and my body left the water, I could feel peace floating on the surface. I could feel peace in having another presence beside me, even if I still couldn't quite figure him out.

And I did.