+Bad Catholics+ Frank Iero

+15+

The house felt ghostly when I walked through the door. Somehow the presence of one less body made the air feel musty, almost stale in the short period of time I was away from home. I didn't know what I expected to feel when inside by myself, but I was hoping for something other than what I felt. Not only did I have to deal with an empty home, I now had to deal with the guilt I felt the moment I walked away from Frank's sleeping body.

My head pounded so much that I felt waves of nausea come on, and I remembered then one of the reasons I made the decision a long time ago to never drink alcohol. It felt like the physical embodiment of Hell was inside of my stomach.

I shuffled through the living room to the kitchen, purposely not looking in the direction of Beth's chair. I opened a few cabinets in search of ibuprofen, trying not to think about all of the things I was worried about and just focus on feeling better. The feeling of plastic graced my fingers as I wiggled my arm as far as I could into a top shelf, and I desperately grabbed the bottle.

"Thank god," I muttered once I saw it was what I needed and began opening the bottle, my hands shaking.

Just as I pried the lid off, the phone rang. I'm not sure if it was my terrible hangover, or the fact that the house was completely quiet, but the ring was loud enough to startle me into dropping the bottle, pills scattering across the linoleum floor.

"Oh come on," I whined, trying to catch my breath.

I hopelessly tried to gather up some of the pills before stumbling to the phone on the wall, the ring nearly ear-shattering when put on top of my headache.

"Hello?"

"Hello, i'm looking to speak with Ms. Harper. Is she available?"

I stood confused, unsure who could be calling and asking for me. The voice on the phone was completely unfamiliar.

"This is she," I said nervously.

"This is Sergeant Cole of the Belleville Police Department. I understand you made the 911 call regarding Beth Reed last night?"

My heart nearly stopped. I didn't exactly consider what might happen following her death- all I knew is that she wasn't a direct relative of mine, and from what I understood she was my legal guardian after my father passed. I remember being told that things would be taken care of if something were to happen to Beth, but I never knew what that entailed. My father never even told me if my real name was on the books- all I knew was that most of my life-proving documents were falsified. Not by my choice, of course. All I could think about was being forced into foster care if they found out I was 17 and living alone.

"Yes, that was me," I said as calmly as possible, ready to lie into oblivion if it meant I could stay safe.

"Firstly, I am sorry for your loss. We have grief counseling recommendations provided by the Belleville PD if you may be interested," He said. "Secondly, we've unfortunately made a more serious discovery during her autopsy that we need to discuss with you. We have on record that you lived with Beth and she has no remaining relatives."

It's not about me, I thought. I felt relief, however it was fleeting when I realized what he was really calling about.

"Discovery? Beth was old, she looked like she passed in her sleep," I said meekly, now gripping the phone with two hands.

"That is what we believed to be the case at the time, however it was recommended that a coroner take a second look. We were informed that heavy traces of arsenic were found in her system."

I nearly dropped the phone the moment the words left his mouth. None of it made sense to me- she couldn't have possibly done it on purpose. Beth didn't particularly have much to live for, as sad as that is to admit, however I knew she was deeply indebted to my father. She was loyal, and I knew she would do most anything to stay alive if that meant I had someone to keep watch of me until I was able to do so myself.

"What- What does that mean?" I asked, full knowing I sounded stupid. "She wouldn't have done that on purpose."

The man on the phone sighed as if he were gathering himself.

"Ms. Harper- I know she was elderly, so this may be a strange question for you. Did Beth have any possible enemies?"

My blood ran cold.

No, she didn't. But it was possible that I did.

"I, uh- I don't know. No. I don't think so," I fumbled over my words.

"Are you available to come to the station today? We would like to ask you some questions."

"Yes, of course. I just- I have to change and i'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you for your cooperation. We will see you soon."

I heard the click of the call ending and I squeezed the cord, suddenly feeling unsafe as I ever had in the house. Placing the phone back on the jack, I tried to control my breathing as I slowly turned around and resumed picking up the pills off of the floor.

I knew immediately it was connected to my father. My worst fears were coming to life, and it was all too much to process. He pissed off a lot of people, that I knew. But there were a few that he really, really pissed off. Namely the ones that had murdered him a few years ago. That could only mean they knew I was there. I resisted the urge to just curl up on the kitchen floor and wallow at how overwhelmed I felt.

I gathered what I could find of the pills back into the bottle and reserved a few for myself. Frantically trying to smooth my hair down, I began to head to the bathroom to brush my teeth when the phone rang again. Assuming it may have been the police officer again I rushed back to the phone, nearly dropping it as I pulled it off the wall.

"Hello?"

"Mae, what the fuck?"

It was Frank. I immediately felt the guilt rear its head again, having forgotten about the situation while on the phone with the police department. He sounded mad.

"Frank, I-"

"Thank god you answered, I was so worried about you," He interrupted me, his tone shifting immediately. "Why would you just run off like that? I thought something happened to you."

"Worried-?" I stuttered, unable to find words. I left the boy sleeping in the cold in the middle of a field and of all things, he was worried. I almost couldn't believe it.

"Yes, worried. I woke up and you were just gone, I lost my shit."

"I- um," I stuttered, at a loss for words. Once again, I got a reaction I didn't expect. "I guess I wasn't thinking, i'm sorry."

I back peddled. I promised myself I would cut it off the minute I walked away from Frank, and I back peddled- again. Between him and the call from the police station, I was too caught off guard to have enough footing to stand my ground.

"I'm just glad you're okay, geeze," He sighed, energy coming back into his voice. "You can't just disappear. How am I supposed to keep raising hell without my girl?"

My heart fell into my stomach unsuspectingly. I told myself it was merely playfulness, and nothing more. Though that didn't change how it felt when he said it.

"I have to go take care of something right now," I said sternly, trying to recompose.

"Call me later?"

"Um. Yeah, I guess so. I'll talk to you later."

"Later Daisy Mae."

I hung up the phone, trying not to succumb to everything happening at once. Brushing off the phone call with Frank, I rushed to the bathroom and did what I could to make myself look like less of a mess before leaving for the police station.

 I felt a storm coming, both good and bad. All I knew was that my master plan was crumbling before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.