+Bad Catholics+ Frank Iero

+11+

   The street was lined with cars as we approached the house, muffled music reaching the corner of each neighboring block. Despite Frank's pep talk, the nervous energy continued to bleed all the way from my head down to the tips of my toes. I knew that it was going to be a struggle to keep my composure when I first called Frank, but I underestimated what it was really going to feel like. The lingering guilt about Beth didn't help.

    "Ready?" Frank asked, killing the engine and opening his door.

    I silently nodded and got out of the car, following Frank down the street and across the front lawn. He never mentioned who's house we were even going to, but I suppose I never asked, either. I was more concerned with who was going to be there, and if any of them might be classmates. It was bad enough I gave in to Frank. I didn't want anyone else I had to see every day at school asking me questions.

    The moment Frank opened the front door, I was flooded with sensory overload. The house was nearly filled with bodies, and somehow it was too dark and too bright at the same time. There was an overwhelming mixture of loud music and voices, enough that I wasn't sure I could quite hear my own thoughts anymore. I could see faint wafts of smoke floating over everyone's' heads, my nose already beginning to itch. I couldn't possibly begin to understand what I had just gotten myself into.

    Gerard instantly noticed us as we walked inside, abandoning the conversation he was having in the opposite corner of the room and jetting over to the front door.

    "It's about time, fucker," Gerard said, giving Frank's arm a punch. Frank laughed and punched him back as I hid behind him, trying to think of a way to integrate myself into the greeting without looking awkward.

    "Stop acting like i'm ever on time for anything," Frank said.

    "Mikey already yacked into a bush in the backyard, so maybe you're right on time," Gerard laughed, taking a sip from the red plastic cup he was holding. "So Mae bailed, huh? I told you she wouldn't come."

    I winced at his comment and shyly popped my head out from behind Frank, giving a meek wave. Gerard's eyes widened and he gave a quick look to Frank before looking back at me.

    "Shit, sorry, I didn't see you. No offense, I just er.. didn't take you for the party type."

    "She's learning," Frank said as he craned behind him to scoot me forward with a hand on my back, giving me a smile as he looked down at me. "Right?"

     I tried to muster up any confidence I had left hiding inside me, knowing I already blew my first impression in the first thirty seconds of being in the house. I told myself that I didn't have to make anyone think I was cool, or interesting. I just needed to make everyone think I wasn't completely weird in hopes that would be enough for them to forget I was even there in the first place by morning.

    "Right," I said, forcing the corner of my mouth to lift in a fake smile.

    "Well. Good luck with that," Gerard said casually, taking another sip. "Anyway, just a warning, your old pal Olivia is here."

    Frank groaned and rubbed at his temples, looking at the ceiling.

    "Great."

    "Yeah, she's already asked about you. Twice."

    "Would have been nice to know ahead of time," Frank huffed.

    "Hey man, I didn't know any sooner than you did. I have to take a leak, let me know if you find Ray anywhere, he owes me for the weed I brought. Keg's in the kitchen," Gerard said, spinning around and heading toward the back of the house.

     Frank shook the conversation off and motioned for me to follow him to the kitchen. I wanted to ask about who Olivia was, but I wasn't even sure why I cared in the first place. The times I had to remind myself that all of this was just to get by until graduation became more and more frequent, and I had no explanation as to why.

    In the same vein, I guess most normal people would be curious to know about someone they've never heard of. And I was trying to be like most normal people.

    I stood behind Frank as he began pouring a drink, trying to stay out of anyone's way.

    "So... who's-"

    "Olivia is someone I used to date, unfortunately," He quickly responded, handing a cup to me without looking away from pouring the next one. I gulped and looked down, hesitant to take it, but I took it anyway. No one would be surprised to know I never had a drop of alcohol in my entire life, as if that even needs to be said.

    "I didn't think you really dated much," I said, raising an eyebrow.

    "I don't," He said, finishing the pour and turning back around to me. "Up until now it's been a big fat waste of time, so I don't even bother. Exhibit A," He said, pointing across the living room.

    I followed his finger and my eyes landed on a girl standing and talking to a few other people. She was certainly beautiful- her hair was a soft honey blonde, curled into gentle ringlets down past her chest, and she had legs for days. Even from how far away I was, I could see how nice her manicured nails looked and the time it probably took to put on her makeup. She laughed and smiled a lot. Nothing like me.

    She looked like a lot of the girls I went to school with, really; But the girls at school never made me feel insecure because I paid no mind to them. Olivia, on the other hand, instantly made me feel like a pebble on the bottom of her shoe. There was just something about her that I could feel in those mere thirty seconds I looked at her, I just wasn't sure what it was.

    "She's very pretty," I murmured without thinking, still looking in her direction.

    "Pretty doesn't get you very far when it's all you have, sweetheart," Frank said, causing me to realize I probably looked a little creepy staring as I turned back to face him. "Never mind that, it's time to have some fun. Let's have a toast."

    He raised his cup up to me, and I nervously looked down at mine, unsure what was even in it.

    "What are we toasting?"

    Frank bit his lip in thought for a moment, his lip ring tilting sideways. He gave a small nod and looked at me again, a smile now on his face.

    "Freedom."