Bigger Than Us

Chapter 15

"You really don't want to talk about it?"

"I-" I started then stopped to think about what I wanted to say.

I bit my lip in thought, asking myself what I could tell him. I can't possibly tell him that my mother wants me to leave Kaden to be with him because he's richer. I don't think I would never be able to face him again if I tell him that now.

What would he think of me?

Will he just judge me?

He will also know that money was the reason I was married to Kaden.

The pressure in my chest became more apparent at the thought of him thinking so lowly of me. What would he think of me? What is he thinking of me?

*Flashback*

"You're good for nothing. Nobody, other than me, will accept you." He hissed fisting his hand into my hand pulling up and closer to his face. "You're using me, so you better make it worth my money."

I closed my eyes tightly sniffing as my shaking hands went to grab onto his slightly to make him loosen his painful grip.

"Please." I pleaded finally opening my eyes to let more tears roll down my cheek.

"Do you think you would here if it wasn't for me? Even your own mother knows what you're really worth." He snapped pulling me toward the kitchen counter. "Anyone telling you they care about your life is damn liar. Nobody does anything for free. You don't even love me. You're here for my money."

I winced when he slammed my body against the counter trapping me against.

"Do you know what they call women who fuck men for their money?" He asked pulling a knife from the counter. My eyes widened as he pressed the cold metal against my arm. I fought against him and screamed as he cut my skin open.

"A whore. And who would want a whore?" He said pulling the knifed away and watching the crimson liquid on the knife.

He let me go and I dropped to the floor crying soundly as I watched my own blood stain my dress.

"No one. No one wants a whore. And they will take advantage as soon as they know how easy you are." He snapped dropping the knife beside me. "Go clean yourself up. You're making a mess."

** End flashback**

What was I even thinking? What good would it do to tell him what my mother said?

No.

I can't tell him.

I looked back at him after putting a small smile on my face. He looked down at him waiting for my answer. The weight of his gaze almost pushed into telling him the real reason, but I just can't bring myself to do so.

"She was angry that I didn't go to Italy." I said and the look he gave me only told me that he didn't believe a single word I just said.

He nodded grabbing the gun once more. "I don't believe you, but I won't push it."

I opened my mouth and closed it a couple of times before nodding, thankful that he wasn't pushing it because I look at more, the more anxious I get thinking about what my mother said.

I want him to keep being my friend. And I won't let my mother take that away from me. I can't even remember when the last time was I had an honest conversation, before I met him and Frieda. They were bluntly honest and helped me in ways could have never hoped for. Their friendship means more to me than whatever my mother's hopes are for me.