Trendsetter (book 2) - H.S

Chapter 27: Naked.

A/N: BRACE YOURSELF(: this pic is how I felt writing this chapter...

EL'S POV:

    The lunch with Angelina, and Milo went amazing, they love Harry, and he truly seemed to love them which made all of this so much better. I enjoyed the trip all around, I enjoyed being able to work freely, the only problem was how badly I missed Harry, how much I couldn't enjoy certain things because he wasn't there to enjoy them with me. The whole thought scares me, it terrifies me because as my dad grows sicker, as Hayley's birthday approaches in the coming months, I'm reminded that nothing lasts forever. There's a possibility that I could lose him just as easily, and I don't need to let myself feel so helpless without him, if I do it's only going to cause harm. We got home yesterday, and it's Monday now. I've been working on the fitting for Dakota Johnson, getting the details finally ready to put through the programming system so I can actually make the outfit. Harry got home, and left me to go straight to the studio, right away he was already back to work, and I tried to not let my disappointment get the best of me but I did. I stayed alone the rest of the night last night, silently, and secretly wallowing over the fact that I was yet again without him.
    The day has moved slow, and I was hoping sooner or later I would receive the smallest text from him but I didn't. The only texts I've received all day were from Anthony because he's always texting me, and with his new found freedom he seems to have more time to do so. Kacey also texted me, I'm guessing she got my number from Harry, but she's asking for my guidance in an outfit for the MET as well, which is shocking, but incredible. We came up with a soft plan, but I know that plan will probably change once we meet up in person to get measurements, and talk through the process of what she wants. Harry's MET outfits are done, but it somehow feels like all either of us do is work. When he's working I'm not, or the other way around. When we vacation it's for work, when we hangout we talk about work. I wish we could both rid ourselves of it all together. I know a way I could, but the more the time passes, and the more the images of my sick father replay in my head, the more I want to push everything about him away, the more I want to avoid calls, the more I want to cry myself to sleep, knowing my dad won't be here soon. My phone rings and silences the thoughts in my mind.
    "Hello?" I ask, shuffling around my apartment.
    "Eleanor, how are you?" he asks, and he has an obvious smile on his lips. I can't see him but I can hear it.
    "Wondering why I'm in LA, home, and still not seeing my boyfriend. Where are you?" I ask, and he sighs softly, almost as if he didn't want me to hear it.
    "I'm still at the studio. I don't think we'll be done till late tonight, but I can stop by later if you'd like?" He asks, and I'm the one sighing now.
    "It's fine, don't worry about it. I've got some work to catch up on actually." I lie, and hear soft hums of music in the background of the call.
    "El, I don't mind it, I want to see you as well, you know that..." He tells me, and I shake the thoughts from my head.
    "It's fine, we'll see each other later this week at some point." I mumble into the phone. "I'm getting another call, I'll talk to you later. I love you." I mumble, and before he finishes his words back I hang up the call, feeling more than annoyed at the fact that the studio is dating him more than I am. He wants to get this album done, I understand it, but it's hard to sometimes. Every time I'm alone the feelings, and the thoughts crash in around me, plummeting my chest, and making my anxiety sky rocket to the moon. I hate feeling this, I hate thinking about it, I hate the sinking of my heart everytime I see a picture of my dad, and I hate the fact that I'm feeling this now while he's still here, he's still alive, and breathing, and everything is fine, but I'm not fine. I had it programmed in me since Hayley died to shut everything down, to move past it with a smile even when you're hurting, and I know that was my parents doing. They never meant to, but the way they packed everything up, and never spoke of her, as if it never even happened. I took that with me, and I hate it. Another phone ring, and I answer it with less enthusiasm.
    "Hello?" I ask, feeling somber on my couch alone.
    "Ellie mae it's your momma." I hear her voice, and the use of the nickname, and instantly I fear the worst. She never calls me anything but Eileen unless there's something wrong, or she knows I'm upset about something.
    "Hi mom... I have a caller ID." I laugh, trying to lighten the mood, but she gets quiet. "Is something wrong?" I ask, my fear only growing.
    "Garrison...Garrison, are you paying attention? Watch the road or something, just keep your eyes open we'll be there soon." My mom whispers away from the phone. "Eileen, I wanted to break it to you softer, but I can't say it in any other way. You're daddy is in and out right now, and I'm bringin him to the hospital. I'm not sure what's going on, but he doesn't look good." She tells me, and there's a sinking feeling inside of me. My speech is stopped, my mind is going crazy, my head is spinning. "Eileen, are you hearing me? We're drivin to the hospital now." My mom speaks again, and I jump up.
    "Yea.. I heard you, I... He's still alive, he's still breathing right?" I ask, feeling awful for asking the question.
    "He's still alive El- what was that? Your daddy wants me to tell you that he says he's got a lot of fight left in him, so don't worry your pretty little head... I'll keep you up to date on everything.... We gotta go." My mom tells me, and hangs up. I'm left speechless, my heart hurting , my eyes welling, and watering. This could be the night, as much as my mom and dad are trying to make me feel good about something so bad, trying to pretend it's not the worst thing knocking on all of our doors right now... I see right through it, and the single person I want to be here with me is going to be in the studio all night tonight. I'm alone with my thoughts.