lost and found

12.

Abigails POV

I wake up in my bed. Not knowing how i ended up here, wait a second. The previous evening comes back to me; playing it in front of my eyes like a movie trailer, its al in snipes en bites, but it gave me the a global idee of what happened. Aiden was my prince in shinning armer, yesterday, i have to talk to him today and thank him for my time in need. Something entered my mind, i was to damn comfortable under the sheets, i lift them up, and see myself dressed in the most ugly and childish pj's i own. My pj"s with peanut on them where the kind of pj's you never want to show at anybody, the kind that soft and baggy and worn out by age. The kind of pj's you put one when you're sick, and for al you care, the world outside you're windows could exploded. who put it on? Did Aiden go in my closeth? Oh i hope not. I may be a nerd, a good girl even. but i'm still a full grown woman. Except of my grand showcase of shoe's, i have another addiction, even the girls did'nt know about. An addiction of all kinds of lingerie, i love bras, panties, suspenders and stockings. I tink it go"s with the growing tree of shoe's. I do like the internet, everything a finger close, to getting what you want. At least once a week i get a care package of my favorite online shop. Okay maybe i have a problem, but i don't hurt anyone accept my bank account.

My bedroom door makes a squeeze sound, and opens very slowly showing Disa in the opening. A sigh of relive left my lips. I hadn't had a clue what to do if the person in front of me would be Aiden. Disa as cheerful as every morning " Good morning Abby, feeling better?" I growls at her happiness. The girls is to much rainbow and sunshine in the morning. It gives me the mood to pull the covers over my head and tell that i'm sick. I already dressed the part, and a day of lounging and doing nothing at all, except eating junk food. that sounded as heaven on this moment. Disa didn't want to hear it, she made clear that Heidi was waiting in the meadow, special training. Fuck the Gods, i tought to myself, another training. This is going to be a hard morning?

" Oh Abby, by the way, i dressed you last night. The poor Alpha got lost in you're closet, it was actually very funny." She laughs while telling it. she was painting the picture in front of my eyes by telling me every detail . Even i couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. the mental picture she created in my head was one of the big Alpha Aiden al buff and so, standing in my closet, my last shopping spree, fallen over his head, a bra stuck on top of it, and Disa walking in. She joked about the red lace matching his cheeks and being the right color for his complexion. I slap myself for sleeping, I would have liked to see Aiden decorated in my lingerie. Disa pulled me out of my state of dreams and tossed me a black yoga pants and bright pink shirt. Trying to get a move in me she kept on bothering me with the lack of time i had.

Fake pissed i stamp out of my cabin. A small yelp comes from at my feet, and Alex shifted from Yorkshire to man. " I'm sorry, did i hurt you? How bad is it?" my eyes go panicky over Alex, making sure i didn't hurt him to bad. The man just Chuckled at me, and stops abrupt the moment Disa appears behind me. they look in each others eyes and electricity shouts around in the air. i begone to feel a little out of place in the middle of a love zone. On those moment I rather be in a war zone, i know how to react to those feelings, i am those feelings, i've been them from the moment Christian left me lying on the curve of college. But these bubbly, soft kissy kiss feelings are strange to me, the only thing i had reference to, where the sparks that i felt when i first bumpt in to the bastard. Alpha Aiden did also let me feel some kind of sparks, but's different. I can't pinpoint it but something is off. Could Aiden be my potential mate? My second chance on happiness. Or i'm i only imagining , just wanted to be loved, no matter to who? I hate to say it but Heidi was right, i had to think about it, maybe i give meditation an other try. Just wanted to try everything, i had to escape my inner self. I was my own worst enemy, nobody could bring me down as fast as my ownself. being more and more discomfort with the stares that passed me, i walked past Alex, leaving him and Disa in a looking competition. After a few seconds they snapped out of it and followed me in to the woods. Alex came walking next to me and Disa to his right. How easy things go, if you truly found you're mate at first sight. envy sneaks its way to my frost bitten heart. breaking the silent i had to say somethings to Alex. " Alex,..." he replied by a hum-hum? " If you really want to be my pet dogg," i joked " please transform in something bigger like a mastiff or something, the Yorksher dog i hate, there just big enough for my feet." Alex's bouldering laugh reached the meadow before we could. his laugh infectious made Disa and me laugh along with him. Firts impressions i got from Alex where rigt, its a guy that had seen a lot, but didn't let his self worth destroy him, he saw the joke in everything, maybe i could learn from him. Walking along, i noticed the small little gestures Alex made for Disa. It filled me with joy.

In the middle of the clearing of the meadow, there wasn't only Heidi waiting for me, both Alpha's where there, Luna Katrina and Larkin. Sarcastically i asked if they where ambushing me for something, the hesitation in Larkins eyes, alerted me? With small eyes i peer around me. What did they have up there sleeves for me? anxiety levels go higher, breathing intakes are heavier. Heidi noticing my panic reaction and came closer with her hands up in the air, and for the first times in months she employed her healing ability's on me. Her aura of peace flooded my panic thats coming from the depths of my soul. The world gained its coulor back, the black white haze that clouded my eyes returned deep inside me. " No harm here" Heidi said, and relaxing again i was able to listen to there plans to go out for a pick nick. A day off, no stress, no worry's, leaving myself in the meadow i followd the croud. They shifted to there wolfs and when i saw Aiden wolf, i was struck by lighting. The magnificent big wolf was night black, not a spick of other colors, black as a night without moonlight. He was glorious and i felt Stella moving inside me and pushing to get out, wanting to break free, calling him mine over and over again. I don't know why but i was Fighting Stella, getting hurt because my body didn't know what to do shift or stay. As Heidi her wolf, a red brown wolf, stept closser i signed not to come near. I had to do this on my own. I have to give Stella control, but somehow me Abby, not Stella, is battling, take deep breath i remember myself, relax and go with the flow. After a few minutes i succeeded, Stella Her silvery coat shinning in the sun. She stood as tall and as pride, as the Alpha wolfs. Thats new, i thought to myself, i'm a omega, i'm not supposed to be as big. Stella just to be as small as an Irish Wolf-dog. Not as big as a human. Stella perked her ears up, seeing Aidens Wolf stampeding towards her. A milli second before he charged at her from a jump, she took a graceful step to her left, seeing the Alpha flying next to her, with his mouthful of grass from his slide, he stood up and looked at her with a glint of... was it pride? Spitting the grass and daisy's out he grinned in wolf form at Stella. Holding my breath, not wanting to laugh at the site of daisy's stuck to his teeth. If i didn't know he was an Alpha, he would be good as court jester. ALpha Aidens wolf, came closer, this time he had a handle on his emotions. He came behind Stella and start sniffing her bottom. Memorizing her sent, when he let me i did the same, getting to know his wolf. The next thing i didn't expect from Stella, she layed herself to the ground and showed her belly to him, he stept even closer hovering above her he snuggled his nose in the fur of her neck, inhaling her sent as if it where his new drug, sniffing over and over, until Alpha Lars howled to get us moving in the direction of the pick nick site.

Somewhere while running to our destination, i felt warmth spreading, Stella looked next to her and she was flanked by the wolf of Aiden, and a fox? Till i remembered Alex, i have the strange idea that Alex his shape shifting is less in control than i first thought, or he is a clown getting a ride out of making us laugh. However, for the longest time i feld loved by friends, possible loved by a mate and above all i had the feeling i could love myself. Running as Stella, feeling free from my own compulsions, gave my a sense of belonging. A sense of finding me a place in the big scary world. In ages i had the feeling of being worth to walk this earth. Maybe i do have a destination thats bigger than the stops along the way to recovery. Searching in myself the reason why christian could destroyed me so easily. Where is the moment insecurity's slip to the kracks in my mind. Wanting to find the why to the questions, so i could make sure, nobody would ever find a split in my self esteem. if i wanted to be mated to Aiden, i have to be stronger in the future. I would never allow to be the weak chain in his arsenal. I wanted to be his bazooka, his weapon to protect the pack and him. I had to talk to Heidi, enough of hiding, feeling sorry for myself, time to take the bull by the balls. And crushed them if needed.