There is a kind of healing that goes with sharing. Sharing from the heart those hurts that holds you captive. You may think you have overcome them just because you managed to have forgotten them in a short while.
Richard was right, I needed to burn those horrible past that held me bound to ashes and throw the ash into the river where no trace of it would be left.
I needed to take the bold step of forgiving myself and those around me. I needed to learn to love again. I needed to build and boost my self esteem again. I needed to walk with my face raised up high. I needed to look at my seemingly enemies in the eye and say ''I have the right to hate you but I choose not to. I needed to start becoming again. Life taught me well.
Yes, is true. Life has taught me that it is tough and that it is only the tougher and toughest that can survive and that I must always be prepared for surprises. Surprises of good, bad and ugly. It is okay to fall but be willing to always rise. I must understand that I'm someone's enemy and someone's closest friend. No one is useless. For the fact that you feel i didn't meet up with your requirement those not make me useless for my effort alone is all that another just wish to see.
Everyone on earth has got a story to tell, but very few people turn their stories into history. I'm learning this now. It's not easy I must confess. The whole process is breaking because I have to visit the past, accept it, own it, learn from it and then let go of it.
Going back to my past will help me to stop running from it. Accepting it helps me to know that yes, this experience then actually happened. Owning it would help me never to be ashamed of talking about it. This was me, but now this is me. This is an evidence that I learnt from it.
Life is too short to quarrel, fight or keep a grudge.
*** *** ***
I guess life is offering me a second chance to live again. To be whole again.
Walking down the isle of the church in my royal wedding gown and focusing on him who awaits me there brought tears of joy to my face. Finally Ray was going to be Richard's son officially. Richard couldn't wait to be his true father also. And me, I can't wait be Richard's forever. I wish my parents were here to witness this day, and to eat the fruit of their labour but well, the royal family were my family now and they loved, accepted and respected my and I a lot. What more could I have ever asked for. A loving husband and a wonderful family.
''Excuse dance, your majesty''.
I startled a little. In front of me was my Prince Charming Richard. I looked up at him and gave my best smiles.
''My pleasure your highness''.
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