Golden

Chapter 28: Healing

—day after locker clean up—
"Baby Claire is inviting us to Cabo." I say to Jimmy whose eyes were glued to the TV screen.
"When?"
"Tomorrow."
"I'm good." He dismisses quickly.
"You don't want to hang out with George?" I ask going to sit next to him. "Trent, the Mullens and Levine are going."
"I told you I don't want to see any of them right now."
"Jim—"
"If you want to go then go without me." He says making me feel horrible. He's been distant for the last couple days and it breaks my heart every time he tosses me aside, but he's hurting.

I leave the living room and go upstairs to my office. He's been mean and grumpy. He only wants to play video games and it's driving me completely crazy. We're supposed to go cake tasting and I don't know if I want to bring him.
My phone dings and I'm shocked when I see the name.
Jack Scott: Hey!
Me: hi! What's up?
Jack Scott: I was in the neighborhood and was wondering if you were free to hang around.
Me: Like at this moment?
I look up and notice it's 12pm
Jack Scott: I was thinking more like 2?
Me: I have a cake tasting appointment, would you like to come?
Jack Scott: Is James ok with me coming?
Me: He's not coming.
Jack Scott: oh...sure I'll come :)
Me: Thank you so much!! I'll see you at 2!
I send him the address before I start to get ready. I straighten my hair. I recently cut dyed a brown to blonde ombré.
I change into some ripped jeans, white crop top and brown booties.
I grab my bag before heading back out to the living room.
"Where are you going?" He asks.
"Cake tasting."
"That's today?"
"Yeah I only reminded you 15 times, but it's fine." I say making sure everything I needed was in my bag.
"Ana, I'm sorry, please be patient with me." He begs and I feel this wave of emotions come over me before I know it I'm crying.
"What's the matter?" He asks at my side in seconds.
"I feel like I'm being patient with you and you're treating me so badly ever since we got back. You don't want to go to any of the wedding stuff you're avoiding everyone and I feel like you're tossing me aside." I cry. He can't get his words out and instead pulls me to his chest.
"I'm sorry." He finally says.
"I don't need you to be sorry I need you to be involved." I say drying my eyes as I look up to him. "It's like you don't even want to marry me. I feel like you're running from me instead of running to me."
"I will be more involved baby and of course I want to marry you, it's all I'm looking forward to." He assures before leaving the room. I'm confused until he comes back dressed ready to go. 
"You're coming?" I ask suddenly feeling guilty.
"Yeah, it'll be fun, just the two of us and cake." He smiles. I should tell him. I have to tell him.
I follow him out to the car and get in the passenger seat.
"Jimmy." I say as he starts driving.
"Yeah?" He asks concentrating on the road.
"Jack is in town and I invited him to come." I say lowering my voice a little.
"Scott?" He questions.
"Yes." I confirm.
"What's he doing here?" He asks.
"I don't know he just messaged me out of the blue and asked if I was busy." I say thanking god he's not going through the route I thought he'd go through.
"So you were just not going to tell me and choose our wedding cake flavor according to his likes?" He asks and I close my eyes. "Sounds like a really neat date."
"James it's not a date don't call it that." I say shaking my head.
"Does he know that?"
"Yes."
"Do you want me to drop you off and you could go enjoy his company on your own?" He asks as he finds a parking spot.
"Jimmy stop. You keep telling me to do things on my own as if you don't know I've had to do everything alone since I was 10 and I hate doing that." My voice breaks and I cover my face with my hands. I feel him grab my shoulder and I'm quick to shrug him off. I regain my composure and step out of the car and into the bakery. I see Jack get up and walk over to me.
"Hi it's so good to see you again!" I say as he hugs me.
"You as well. You look great." He smiles.
"Thank you." I say as he leads me to the booth.
"Mr. and future Mrs. Garoppolo, nice to meet you." An old man says to us.
"Oh, I'm not Mr. Garoppolo." Jack says with a nervous smile.
"Mr. Garoppolo is right here." Jimmy says walking towards our table. He slides into the booth with me.
"It's great to see you man." Jack says, shaking Jimmy's hand.
"Nice to see you too." Jimmy says as he tries to hold my hand, but I don't let him. Jack notices the situation and I can imagine he wants to disappear.
"How's work been?" Jimmy asks as we're brought a variety of cakes.
"Oh it's great, especially with her doing most of the work." Jack jokes making me laugh.
Jack and I explain to Jimmy what we're working on as we taste all the cakes.
"I really liked the white chocolate raspberry cake with cheesecake filling." I say.
"I liked the Hazelnut almond one." Jimmy says.
"Jim that's too rich." I say remembering how I specifically told him I didn't want that one. "The Raspberry one is fresh and makes sense with our summer wedding." I argue.
"I know I just wanted to hear your reasoning for it." He smiles.
"How many guests?" The old man asks when we tell him which one we decided on.
"200." I tell him.
"Big wedding." He smiles.
"Yeah." I shyly say.
We get all the payment stuff out of the way and we're good to go.
"Jack do you want to come over? I'll get the grill started and we can have dinner. I'll invite some of the other guys."
"Sure." Jack smiles.
We give him our address and ask him to come at 7. Jimmy texts the huge group chat they insist on having and a lot of them say they're coming.
We stop by the store to get enough of everything. We arrive home and I still haven't muttered a word to Jimmy.
"Ana." He says as I prep the steaks. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I ask, wanting to him to say it.
"For making you do everything. I know I haven't been at 100%, but we promised each other that if one of us was lagging the other would step up and I know I'm not making it easy."
"Jim-"
"I've never felt anything like that before Ana." He sighs letting his head fall slightly. "The feeling of the confetti not being my teams color raining from the sky, camera men pushing past me to get pictures of Pat, my teammates on the floor, my biggest guy on the field crying his eyes out on National television, being asked what I would have done differently. Ana I don't know how to process this and I don't know how long it's going to take me to be myself again." He says. I hear his voice crack and immediately feel like the villain. He sits on a stool and I go to him wrapping my arms around his neck and rub his back gently.
"I'll wait for you mi amor." I whisper. "I'll always wait for you." I assure him. "Take all the time you need."
"I know you deserve better." He says making me shake my head. "I'm trying to be better, but everyday my mind just goes back to the plays, I see the tape and I just feel so angry with myself. I had people go from calling me baby goat to wanting me off the team. I let them all down." I don't know what to tell him. I can only hold him. "I'm really sorry that you feel like I'm abandoning you, I've been so caught up in my own head that I haven't noticed how this is all making you feel."
"Jimmy it's fine. Please just take care of yourself, I'll be fine I'm just a crybaby sometimes."
"No, your feelings are just as valid as mine are and I don't want to make this about myself when I know you're suffering too."
"We'll be better." I say smiling at him
"We will be." He says finally smiling at me.

Once our guests arrive it's not long before we have music booming and drinks going around. Jimmy stands by the grill and I sit with Claire, George, and Jack who are getting along really well.
"How's he been?" George asks. I want to give him a good answer but I can only shake my head at him. "Come on the trip with us."
"He doesn't want to, I don't think he's ready for that."
"It'll be good for him." He presses.
"I don't want to push George."
"How's the wedding planning?" He asks changing the subject.
"It's great, picked the cake, venu, theme, floral arrangements, food is picked, hair and makeup appointments are set up, and DJ and band are good to go."
"You're only forgetting the most important thing." He points.
"What?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe your wedding dress." He laughs.
"Oh. Right. That." I nervously.
"You didn't forget did you?" He asks.
"No sir." I smile. "I've been researching and planning I have the one I like."
"And you never told me?!" Claire asks obviously hurt.
"I didn't want to make a big deal about it."
"But I was really excited for it." She pouts
"You'll see it when I go to my first fitting in two days."
"I'm gonna be in Cabo."
"I'll send you a picture, there's actually two." Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones but she seems genuinely mad.
I leave that group and go to Jimmy who is with Joe and Trent.
"I made Claire mad." I say wrapping my arms around Jimmy.
"Why?" He asks as I rest my head on his back.
"I didn't invite her to my wedding dress fittings."
"She'll get over it, she's very pregnant." Joe says in a funny voice. "My wife couldn't stand the sound of my chewing when she was pregnant. I had to eat in my room."
"What?" Jimmy asks with a laugh.
"Yeah they look sweet but beware."
"No, Ana wouldn't treat me like that." Jimmy confidently says. "Right baby?"
"I don't know, I'm not pregnant yet."
"Fixable problem." Joe says with a shrug.
"Shut it." I tease.
I have some shots with George and Derek after dinner and I see Jimmy walk inside so I follow.
"Hey stranger." I say getting his attention. "What are you doing?"
"Getting some paper towels, Emmanuel spilled his drink."
I let him walk back out and I look through the glass door, they look better but I know none of them have addressed the elephant in the room. So as the future wife of the leading man, I should.
"I would like to say a few words." I say getting everyone's attention. "So, we lost and I think I speak for everyone when I say we were not expecting that outcome." I start and see heads fall and nod. "But I just want to say I'm really proud of every single one of you. You guys were nothing like any team the NFL has ever seen before because you're a family. You guys are not only good players but good guys and in a place where everyone is good it's that little extra that matters." I say. "As a fan and as a member of this group I'm really excited for what is to come in this franchise you guys gave the faithful a hell of a season and hope for the next. We are no longer a team people can write off as pretenders. We are THE contenders and we're coming back healthier and stronger than ever. George said it best, this will be The Legendary Revenge Tour." I finish off strong holding up a shot of tequila. The guys cheer and get riled up.

"Have fun on your trip!" I tell George and Claire as they leave. They're the last ones to go. The second I close the door Jimmy throws me over his shoulder.
"Jimmy!" I laugh as he runs upstairs. "Oh baby I'm getting old." I say as I start to feel nauseous after he drops me on the bed. He laughs at me as he takes his shirt off. His hands are the next to go leaving him in tight boxer briefs.
"Whatchu doing out here with all this ass? Double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon, hella ass, the sun is still out." I say making him double over in laughter.
"I love you so much." He says as he lays on me.
"Jimmy!!" I shriek as his weight crushes me. He eases some weight before off kissing my cheek. "And I love you too." I finally say tuning to face him.
"Thank you for the speech." He says as I turn the lights off. "We needed that and none of us were going to do it."
"Well as the leading mans lady, I thought I could step up, but talking to them is scary."
"Why?"
"I don't know I was afraid of stuttering or my accent getting in the way." I quietly say.
"I love your little Mexican accent." He says smiling down at me.
"Shut up." I laugh.
"Oh remember we have a meeting tomorrow."
"The meeting with my grandma, how can I forget." I nervously say.
"Are you excited?"
"I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"What if she doesn't want me?"
"Honey of course she will."
"But she never looked for me."
"I'm sure it's much more complicated than that." He assures.
"I guess we'll find out." I say scooting closer to him. I fall asleep thinking about the worst case scenario.