flowers at sea -lukadrien

-14- Figure It Out

My Father once told me that loving someone could be a miracle or a curse. At first it may seem as a dream come true, but as days, months, years past, falling out of love is easy. Too easy. In a snap of a finger, those years and years of love will break down because of a simple misunderstanding or tantrum. One day, you might get angry and bored of that one person you thought will be your forever, until you can't handle it anymore.

That was what he told me after he broke up with my Mom, after the divorce I never met him again. Even I couldn't make out how he looked like, it was all a blur, but these words lingered in my mind.

I didn't know what he meant that time, love for me at that time was just my Mom and sister. Saying 'I love you' was like a everyday routine, uttering it out like it was nothing. It was so simple and direct back then, I miss that feeling now, I want someone to say those words for me casually and smile every time I say it back. I want someone to kiss me when I'm down, give me hugs me from the back, cuddle me to sleep...

God, I'm so lonely.

Right then at the moment when I saw Adrien and marinette talking, I didn't feel like my usual loneliness that I knew so well, not at all. Instead all that overwhelmed me was a sharp sense of jealously, pain and anger.

Loving is hard, but being in a one-sided love was worst.

I took out my notebook where I wrote the lyrics to 'Flowers at Sea', there's no way I can ask them to play this song, it'll just hurt me more, carve deeper into my heart.

I chucked the book back into my bag hastily into my bag, zipping it shut before grouping back with the gang like nothing happened. I tried not to look at him that much but my eyes had given up on me, I try to stop thinking about him but I can't think straight. I can't get enough of those green eyes, I can't seem to stop loving Adrien Agreste.

Though deep down I know that he will never love me back, being in love with such a person is more than I can ask for. It has filled the missing pieces between the cracks of my being, love is such poison and such beauty.

Now I just have to figure out which one it is.