ISAAC's OC REVIEWs

Yuri Davidson

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This OC and review contain themes of kidnapping and murder. If you're uncomfortable with any of the above, I suggest overlooking this review.

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Grammar check: yes please I'm still learning english ;-;

Fandom: original. It's like 18 century and full of criminal groups but the most evil group named Red Wings

[ I reckon we could make it flow better by changing the sentence around a bit, perhaps something like '...and full of criminal groups with Red Wings being the evilest of all.' or '...and full of criminal groups, the evilest of all being a group named Red Wings.'

I think it'll only be beneficial to give a bit more about the Red Wings. What are their goals? What do they believe? What kind of people make up Red Wings? How big are the Red Wings? Think about those sorts of questions to help build up a background for the Red Wings. At the moment, they seem to just be the 'bad guys' because the story needs bad guys.]

Full name: Yuri Davidson

Nicknames: Lily (Yuri means Lily in Japanese)

[ How does she feel about being called Lily? Is she known as Yuri or as Lily?]

Age: 26

Gender: female

Sexuality: heterosexual

Species: brought back to life

[ I'm assuming she would have previously been human though, perhaps 'Resurrected Human' may work better?]

Nationality: American

Appearance: 168 cm,53 kg, olive skin, long black hair with jagged bangs. White cornea with black eyes, long dress with lily patterns, sometimes wears her mask to cover her eyes when she goes to the village.

[ Missed a 'she' from the final sentence. I've added that in for you in-between 'when' and 'goes'.

What is her mask like and how does it cover her eyes? Unless you've got a specific mask in mind I doubt it's going to mask her eyes. Alternatively, she could use a widow's veil to mask her eyes. Consider looking into her attire again and further explaining it as there are a lot of dresses and gowns in 18th-century fashion. Consider her features, such as eye shape, nose shape, face shape and so on. It'll help give a better visualise to Yuri then. Consider if Yuri has a wedding ring and if so, if she still wears it after her husband's death.]

Health: I dunno she's a ghost human thing

[ Any PTSD or similar issue caused by her own death, her husband's death, Wendy's disappearance, her father's disappearance? I'd assume there would be at least something like that, so have a little look into PTSD and see if it's something you think would work with Yuri. In this section think about talking about any wounds she got, perhaps she's got wounds from when the Red Wings took the life of her husband and her own.]

Personality: she is childish and easily got distracted by something. But she is actually very nice and brave. She doesn't want people to know her because she doesn't want peoples scared (everyone know that she died)