Spotlights II

Chapter 2: Fallen

This took me forever to write, I changed things, took stuff out, edited stuff but I've finally got something I'm vaguely happy with so here you all are ❤️

Dec slowly breathed through the water droplets that matted his sandy-brown hair and rolled over his face, down his chin. The Geordie's eyes stayed closed as the warm spray washed off the feeling of stale alcohol from his skin.

A disastrous first day back. One he'd probably wish to forget, had he been able to remember the most important details. However, if life so far had taught him anything it's that he can always pick himself up.

But even if he couldn't, then fake it till you make it right?

Stepping out of the shower, Dec wrapped a towel around his waist and took a long look in the mirror. He never liked what he saw, his reflection had always been cruel and mocking, even after Tam had done his makeup.

Through all his success, all his awards and his praise there had always something missing.

Music was all he'd ever wanted but by the time he'd made it in the world, he'd lost too much of himself. To Declan, he'd never be good enough the way he was, he knew that but it just made him work harder.

Work harder, not to achieve, but to distract him. So he didn't notice how much he'd lost in the flames.

After Jason and then Ant, no one had been allowed to get close to him. He'd done everything a mentally ill, depressed, rising star could do under the sun; drinking, one night stands, drugs... you name it he'd done it. 

Through all that pain though, every night where he was so high he couldn't remember his own name, nothing could fill the empty void that had him drunkenly calling a certain dark haired man's phone in the middle of the night.

Ant always picked up. Every single time. But Dec never said anything, just sat, with tears streaming down his cheeks, in the cold corner of some random celebrity's bathroom and listened to the taller man's rough sleepy voice say his name with an inkling of hope, all the while deep down knowing he should never have caved, he should never have called.

The singer sighed and bowed his head, leaning heavily on the sink and letting his eyes flicker down to his pale arms and the horizontal white scars that littered the once flawless skin.

Too many nights alone, too many bad memories and no way to numb the pain.

Drugs had been something he'd experimented with after his first show in LA when he was so proud of him self that he couldn't wait to tell- and that's when it had hit him. Tell who? Nobody was there.

Ultimately, the pills had never been enough, that's why Dec had quit completely when he started his production company. He couldn't think when he was on them and it was slowly causing him to waste away. The scars he could hide, no one cared about him or his body so he could do with it what he will. But when your face becomes sunken and withdrawn people start asking questions.

Declan is anything but an idiot. Logically the singer new what he was doing was wrong, that he shouldn't hurt himself... but then so many other's had? What difference did a little bit more pain make if, just for once, he could be in control of it?

Be in control over what happened to his body for a change.

"Hey Dec! Cars outside you ready?!" Stephens voice snapped the young geordie from his thoughts and he quickly dried his body and began pulling on his expensive suit for the meeting.

"You can come in Stevie I'm decent." Immediately the Londoner entered in his usual navy suit with a stripy tie while gripping his folder and closing the door behind him.