the treehouse | larry stylinson

twenty two

it had been a while since i last took a break from it all, a while since i sat in my treehouse with nothing but my own thoughts. but i needed some time, some time to myself to process everything that was going on around me.

life was pure chaos.

first of all, my friends had left me because of some silly fight, which i didn't cause. why did i have to apologize for loving someone who was just completely right for me? was it because he couldn't bring himself to blend in with the others, or that he wasn't afraid to speak his mind, no matter how inappropriate it could be at times?

most likely all of those. i didn't care, i was too far gone in his green eyes and his affection towards me.

when my dad left, he not only left us on our own, but he left me with an empty hole in my heart. and in a way, harry came into my life and filled that empty void with his witty comments and his loving kisses.

there's not a thing i'd change about that, no matter if my dad left me or not, it still got me to where i was back then and despite everything, i wouldn't have changed it for anything in the world. because nothing could compare to the way he could just look at me and know exactly what i wanted to say or what i felt, it was just as if he stared into my soul, embraced it and helped it find the right path.

he did that, my hazza.

i glanced outside the small window-opening, i could see my house in the distance. my house where i'd grown up and learnt how to fend for myself, as much as possible anyway. and my mum, my hero, she was so sad after he left us, but somehow still managed to pull herself out of bed as much as she possibly could. my mum, who's just been diagnosed with leukemia and fell asleep in my arms after crying her eyes out.

the difference between my mum and other people, is that she wasn't sad because of the fact that she was sick. no, she was sad because she knew there was a risk of her leaving me alone in this cruel world where she's done her best to help me through it all.

and why am i always the unlucky one? why do i have to endure endless amounts of excruciating pain in my life?

i heard footsteps coming closer outside, followed by a "babe? you here?" harry. my hazza. i peeked out the window and made eye contact with him, and found myself feeling safe instantly. "do you wanna come down here? thought we could go to the park, or uh, the movies maybe?"

i smiled and nodded, before slowly climbing down the ladder and almost fell down when the broken step once again made itself known.

"shit! careful lou," harry gasped and hurried over to be prepared to catch me in case i'd fall down. "we really need to fix that step, it's not safe for you here."

i hopped down the last step and walked right into his open arms, and hugged him tight. "i'm gonna fix it, i haven't found the time yet."

"promise?"

"yes, i promise." he kissed the top of my head and petted my hair gently, murmuring sweet nothings to me. it was clear to me that this boy, this was the boy.

"so..." he started and let go of me to grab my hand and started walking towards the house, "the park? what do you think?" he smiled at me and as much as i wanted to go, i wasn't feeling up for it much, not when things had broke out the way they had with my mum.

"haz?"

"love?"

i smiled at the nickname, and let out a small chuckle. "i wanna make things right."

he stopped walking and looked at me curiously, "how do you mean? you haven't done anything wrong, i promise you that."

"no-well... with niall i mean... and the other lads i mean... i just, i talked to my mum yesterday and uh," i stopped to take a deep breath, and he took my hand and squeezed it gently. "well she said that i should maybe try to make things right before it's too late..."

he frowned and nodded, "wanna sit down?" he gestured to the bench in front of my porch. i nodded and we walked over in silence. "what do you mean by 'too late'?" he asked as we sat down next to each other.

"sometimes stuff happen, bad stuff-really bad stuff, and it just puts things into perspective i guess... and i just, i can't lose the people that were the closest to me because of a silly disagreement."

he snorted sadly, facing away from me to try to disguise the hurt in his face. "disagreement? you do know that it's all my fault, right? they won't accept me and that's..." his voice cracked slightly, to which he cleared his throat and took a deep breath, "that's fine with me, i don't need them to function and be happy so, well, i don't really care about that. but you, you've known them for so long i can't help but feel as if i'm the one that's destroyed that."

"haz..."

"i get it, i do. i just don't know if they'll let you in again with me still being here."

"don't say that! i want you here-i need you here! everyday where i have you is like i've won the lottery, i'm so lucky and... i love you..." tears were streaming down my face at this point and the words came flowing out like they'd been repressed fo years.

"i love you too. i do. so much. so much that i care about your wellbeing more than my own, because if you're happy then, then i can live knowing you, my sun, is shining everyday."

i blinked my tears away, "so what are you saying?" he looked at me and caressed my cheeks, putting on a smile that was all too see-through. "i wanna be with you."

"i know, i want that too." he pulled me in for a kiss and slowly rubbed my cheek with his thumb. it wasn't a great kiss exactly, mostly because i was crying and it was just full of desperation and slobber. at the same time, it was so raw and so beautiful, i couldn't wrap my head around it.

he pulled away and sighed. looking deep into my eyes he took a deep breath before saying "i just don't want you to lose everything else just to have me, that's all."

"but...but you are everything..."

he bit his lip, "lou..."

"no, stop. we'll make it work. i don't want to lose anyone, especially not over something stupid like this."

"are you sure about that?"

"of course. we'll figure it out, it'll work. it has to work."

-

heyyyy so i'm really confused as to what happened to this chapter oops

anyways, i don't have a lot of motivation for writing this story rn, mostly bc i feel like no one's reading it hahah

oh well

i'll try to update more often

love, h