The Sinful Scream

34 - panic

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Renee POV:

   The following morning, I awoke with a start. The sound of my ringtone penetrated my ears, much too loud for this early in the morning.

Turning to look at my clock on the bedside table, I saw the time: 1:00 A.M.

   I groggily felt around my bed, huffing in annoyance when I didn't find my phone. After all this searching, I was wide awake. I got out of bed to find my phone on the floor, the screen facing upwards. The phone continued to ring as I rushed to grab it and see who was calling.

It was Jay.

Ignoring the many thoughts that started swirl around in my head, I answered the call and placed the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Renee! I'm sorry to bother you so early in the morning, but this is urgent."

"What happened?" Grueling panic began to set in as my hand shook from my tight grip on the phone.

"I didn't fucking know this would happen, he just sent us out and- Fucking shit!" Jay cursed himself, cutting off his own sentence.  His voice almost cracked as he spoke, a large contrast to his normally steady, strong voice.

"Jay, just fucking tell me what happened! You're scaring me," I replied, my anxiety levels skyrocketing.

"Maddox got shot, Renee. Twice. Once in his side, and once in his chest. He told us to leave and you know Maddox, he doesn't take no for an answer. I walked in to see him and..." The sound of Jay's strained voice was drowned out as I calculated every single word he just said.

It felt as if my head was submerged underwater. I couldn't hear anything but white noise, and a constant ringing piercing through my skull. My heart raced wildly in my chest as I became overcome with lightheadedness. I tried to hold it together, but inevitably failed.  I let out a choked sob as I fell to my knees, still clutching my phone in my hand. Tears streamed down my face as silent cries left my lips.

The fear of losing Maddox was so great that it consumed my entire being. I let him leave just a few hours ago, not thinking anything of it. It seems that, up until this point, I haven't fully come to terms with just how awful the dangers of his job were.

The whole day was so ideal; all of us just enjoying the unlimited time we had to spend together. Then, it abruptly came to an end in a way I didn't think twice about. I should have never let him leave my side. Without him, I was nothing. Maddox completed me, he was almost half of my soul at this point. He had to be okay. I don't know what I'll do if he isn't.

The sound of Jay's voice started to fill my ears again as the heavy pressure surrounding my head started to let up a little.

"Renee? You there? Please, try to breathe." Jay instructed calmly.

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to wipe the overflowing tears off my cheeks with my free hand.

"Y-yeah, I'm...here. Where a-are you?" My voice trembled as I spoke, my throat tightening with every breath I took in from the oxygen supply that seemed so lacking. 

"I'm at Maplewood Hospital, they're operating on him right now. The rest of the guys left, they had to get home to their families." Jay answered lowly.

I grabbed onto the edge of my bed from my now curled up position on the floor, pulling myself up despite the lightheadedness I continued to feel.

"Alright. I'll... I'll be there in the next half hour," I whispered, trying to collect myself as to keep from breaking down all over again. I had to just get out of the house as soon as possible.