My Life Would Suck Without You

Woman obsessed

Ariana was a woman obsessed. She was also a woman who was slowly losing her mind. She had gone from pretending the baby didn't exist to longing for her belly to show, longing for the ability to tell people, "No I'm not just fat, I'm actually pregnant."

She was still being careful at work, careful to wear big, baggy clothes to disguise her ever-growing stomach. She had even gone to such lengths as to suggest to certain designers that they bring back empire waists. If she'd been pregnant back in the early 2000's, for instance, no one would have noticed anything because of all the baby-doll tops. One designer laughed at her suggestion and told her those tops were hideous because they made everyone look pregnant. Ariana quickly dropped the subject.

However, outside work, she was so desperate to talk about it that she had started accosting strangers in order to share her good news.

"Excuse me, do you have this sweater in a large, because I'm nearly four months pregnant and nothing's going to be fitting me soon?"

"Hello, this is Ariana Grande in apartment 11G and the heat isn't working correctly and I'm four months pregnant and for some reason I'm getting really cold, so do you think you could come take a look at it?"

"I'll have the 12 ounce prime rib with baked potato, butter, sour cream and a small container of bleu cheese dressing for the potato. I know it sounds strange, but I'm four and half months pregnant and I'm desperately craving blue cheese. It could be worse, you know. At least I'm not craving anything weird like dirt. Do you have any kids yourself?"

"You look like you're ready to pop? How many weeks are you? Thirty-six? You poor thing. Is this your first? I'm only 22 weeks and I'm completely wiped out so I can't imagine how you must be feeling."

At four and a half months, she could no longer resist the urge to shop for maternity clothes and so off she went to Buy Buy Baby with Frankie and Donny tagging along with her. They seemed to be permanently attached now and unfortunately, due to Frankie's influence, Donny coddled her almost as much as her brother. However, it was like he was a member of the family now and as such was sworn to secrecy concerning the baby.

They walked in, looked around, and Arian wondered why everyone in there was so skinny that the salespeople had to give them cushions to shove up under their clothes to simulate a belly.

"Are any of these women actually pregnant?", Donny whispered to her, echoing her thoughts precisely.

Frankie answered the question while flipping through a catalog of outrageously expensive nursery furniture. "Oh yes. A lot of them like to come in very early on. Wearing maternity clothes is often the very first sign of pregnancy and they can't wait to show it off."

Ariana, who by this time had simply learned to yield to Frankie's superior knowledge of all things maternal, turned and saw exactly what he meant when a woman with model proportions idly flicked through the racks, wearing an empire waisted smock which clearly had more space underneath it than the Astrodrome.

"Would you like to try anything on?", a salesperson, who had materialize out of nowhere, asked.

Ariana didn't answer. She was busy trying not to faint when the woman she'd been watching, the one with the model-like figure, turned and looked directly at her.

"Gisele?", Donny gasped, once again, echoing Ariana's thoughts exactly.

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"Why didn't tell me you were pregnant?", Ariana asked in a slightly hurt tone while the four of them, she, Gisele, Frankie and Donny sat around a small table at a nearby Starbucks fifteen minutes later.