Way Back Home

Florentino Corolla

It was difficult. Coping was very difficult. At this age he shouldn't be curled up in his bed wondering about the what could have been scenario. He has cried after years. No that would be a lie. He had cried many nights, a few tears for a love that never was.

A few tears for the empty bed even though he has not slept with the man by his side even for one night in his life. He wonders why Gustavo would chose to go away. He know the reasons. He has heard them. But knowing and understanding are two different things. He had lied to the kids and told them he was busy with work. He had seen the missed calls from the family number. He can imagine who it is from but somehow Florentino couldn't bring himself to attend it.

Then there is a knock on his door one day. He wonders who it is and checks. Florentino felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight of Gustavo standing out there, at his door. He sighed. It is not like he can hide forever. So he opened the door.

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Gustavo was jittery as he waited. Then the door opened and his heart clenched when he saw Florentino's state.

"Flore-

But then Florentino just walked back in, letting Gustavo follow. He busies himself in the kitchen.

"I was going to make some tea. You want some?" asked Florentino busying himself. Gustavo caught his hands and stopped him.

"What have you done to yourself here?" asked Gustavo making him sit down. They looked at each other.

"I did this, didn't I?" asked Gustavo. And Florentino can never bear to hurt Gustavo, even decades later and he shakes his head. But somehow, Gustavo just hugs him and Florentino let himself be held. The man is rubbing his hand on Florentino's back and he realises he is shaking. He can feel the wetness on his face. But he doesn't stop. He can't.

Gustavo holds him. Florentino sags into his arms for a moment. Then he slowly got his breathing under control and moved away from Gustavo.

Florentino made them tea and silence reigned. He took the tea over and sat down next to Florentino. Gustavo pressed a kiss to his forehead. Florentino looked at him.

"I have mourned you for years," said Florentino.

"I know it's not any consolation but I wanted you to move on," said Gustavo. Florentino was silent.

"Definitely not a consolation," said Florentino sipping on his tea.

"I will understand if you don't even want to see my face again. But I am hoping that you will forgive me someday," said Gustavo, his face impassive as he looked away. For a moment Florentino was reminded of a young Gustavo, all closed off and refined even in showing affection.

"Well, I have always been a glutton for punishment. Why stop now?" asked Florentino and looked away.

Gustavo looked at Florentino. They kissed. Gustavo felt Flore's chapped lips against his as they kissed. He took charge of the kiss and Florentino felt his back pressed against the bed. They kissed deeply and then broke away for breath. They have kissed before, when they were young. Gustavo looked at Florentino guiltily.

"I shouldn't have. I can't assume that you waited when you thought me dead-

Florentino slapped Gustavo and laid back as the man towered over him.

"Well, you shouldn't. But like I said, I am glutton for punishment," said Florentino, a tear drop leaving his eyes. Gustavo wiped it. He was pleased that Florentino saw it fit to hit him. In their youth, the only one who dared to stand their ground with him was Flore. Even Jennifer used to back off when he gets in a mood. Not Florentino though.

"Your hair is grey," said Florentino raising his hand and running it through Gustavo's hair.

"And skin wrinkled. Saggy muscles. Growing old, yes," said Gustavo with a small smile. Florentino was just etching how Gustavo looked and smelled into his heart. He just wanted to be sure that yes, Gustavo was indeed here.

Gustavo let him and then laid down next to Florentino, hands touching.

"I have something to tell you," said Gustavo.

"Did you meet someone?" asked Florentino.

"Have age made you stupid? No one I ever meet would ever be you," said Gustavo. Florentino looked away from those intense eyes.

"It has been years and you stayed away. Anything could have happened," said Florentino.

"Did you find someone?" asked Gustavo. Florentino knew it was more of a rhetorical question but he answered anyway.

"No."

"How can you expect me to then?"

They looked at each other.

"We shouldn't discuss us just yet," said Florentino even though it took everything in him to say so. To keep himself from Gustavo.

They were silent for a few moments.

"What is it then?" asked Florentino.

"I should probably show you," said Gustavo and was on his feet. Florentino sat up too.

"Come on, we need to go somewhere," said Gustavo. Florentino shrugged on a coat and they got out. Gustavo was in his old Lexus SC. Florentino never thought he would ever see that car out of the shed and at his doors.

"Sage got her all set to go. He has a way with the machines," said Gustavo and realised Florentino would already know that. But thankfully, Flore doesn't point that out.

"Good that you are getting along with them. They are great kids," said Florentino.

Gustavo nodded. They got in and they were on road soon.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?" asked Florentino keeping to himself, needing the space. Last time they kissed had not been ideal. It always made Florentino's heart ache for the past two decades. The years he spent mourning this man.

They reached a child care centre. Florentino looked at Gustavo.

"You had another child?"

He would not admit it. His heart broke a little. He had always known that he would never carry Gustavo's child. But that was their situation back then. However to think that Gustavo had a child, again, this time with someone else just broke his heart into a million pieces. He would love any child of Gustavo's, without doubt. He would die for them. But it still broke his heart.

"I have come across many orphan children over time. But somehow they all made a life and had someone supporting them. I used to visit this centre often as a patron. Este was a silent child. But he somehow was comfortable with me. Lost his home in a drug cartel fight. I took him in after a year. He is only 10. I hated leaving him here again for the duration. But there was no safer place and I couldn't just drop him on all of you either," said Gustavo guiltily. Florentino just gave him a scathing look and stepped out and slammed the door close.

Even if it was Gustavo's biological child who grew up with Gustavo from day one , Florentino can't see how a child will be okay with staying at an orphanage. Suffice to say, Gustavo has not gained much sense since his 30s.

Gustavo also stepped out and they made their way over to the welcome desk.