Way Back Home

One Step Backwards, Two Steps Forward

Florentino opened his yes. The dream had been horrible. This doesn't happen always. He felt the warm weight of Gustavo's arm around him.  It was an unspoken thing between them.  They slept in the same bed.  The fact is that they didn't want to miss another moment together. He looked to his left. Este is here for a sleep over.  He must have climbed in after they fell asleep.  The child was snuggling into his arms.  Florentino pressed a kiss to his forehead and got out,  securing the father and son in the bed.  He needed something to drink. 

He saw Alexander in the kitchen with Zyren in his arms.  The child was whining. 

"Ah,  he is up?" asked Florentino taking Zyren from him.

"Yes,  it's like he knows when Mig has a match next day. I didn't wake him," said Alexander, handing over water to him.

Florentino moved with his grandchild in arms as he stood looking into the skies. 

"Are you alright? " asked Alexander.

Florentino smiled.

"It's supposed to be the other way around.  I should be the one constantly pestering you about everything. I am the parent- Florentino stopped and looked at Alexander.

"At least I hope I am," said Florentino. 

"Even when everything about me reminded you of him,  you were still there. Yeah,  I would have loved to have you here.  I was so angry when you left.  Like,  I was abandoned.  But you came back and though you never stayed here ever again,  I know I was your number one priority and after they all came along,  them too," said Alexander. 

"I wanted to raise you.  But- those circumstances were not ideal.  In so many ways,  Izabel was the better choice, " said Florentino. 

"I love mom.  She is awesome.  But she is not you and she knew that and would reassure me that you did care.  I used to wonder if you resented me.  If it was not for me,  probably father and you would have had your chance much earlier, " said Alexander.

He doesn't know why they were discussing  this but it just came out of his mouth.  Everything about his past is overwhelming ever since his father returned. Miguel said talking about it will help and now he has his chance and he is talking. 

Florentino knew Alexander deserves an explanation.  The kid deserved a lot more and he got it all with Miguel and Florentino will forever be grateful for that. 

"I couldn't leave your side. Letting you out of my sight was difficult. Jen birthed you.  But you are my child too and she has never stopped me from being a part of your life or parenting you. I-I, always knew that I might never be able to carry your father's child. It was a wish I had buried deep down,  to be a birth parent and I knew I would only ever want it with Gustavo which was impossible. After it all went down,  you were asleep by my side when I started feeling unwell after months of tears and pain," said Florentino.

"I remember you leaving soon after, " said Alexander. 

"How about I take Zyren to bed and you both talk, " said Miguel as he came down.  Florentine gave a small smile and handed over the child.  Alexander kissed Miguel,  their arms tight as Miguel mumbled something to him before leaving.

Alexander walked closer to Florentino.

"I would have loved having a little brother or sister from you," said Alexander. 

Florentino looked at him with a small smile. 

"You almost had one," he said and Alexander could only just look at Florentino. His mind reeled.

"I didn't realise until I started bleeding. Don't worry, your father never cheated on Jen. Your father and mother,  they had decided to divorce.  The papers were filed.  And I got my one night with Gustavo.  I didn't know he left a gift behind.  It was not to be, " said Florentino.

Alexander just wrapped his arms around Florentino who cried. 

"You shouldn't have had to got through that alone," said Alexander feeling his eyes well up.  They were both sobbing as they stood there hugging each other. 

"I just dreamt of him. He was crying and I don't reach him on time," said Florentino. 

They just stood there. Alexander has had many losses in his life. This is one more and a very valuable one at that. If 15 year old him heard of his loss,  he might have cracked. 

"I know I can never be a substitution but I hope that you-

Florentine just looked at Alexander. 

"My Alexander is clever.  Are you becoming an idiot now? You are my first child. You are my Syrus.  I may not have birthed you but you are the child of my heart. No child I would have ever birthed would take away your place.  You are not a substitute  in my life. Though I should have taken a more active role in your parenting after all that. I don't think I did justice to you the way you do for Syrus, " said Florentino.

Alexander was crying. 

"You did.  You came running whenever I needed you," said Alexander. 

"I did not even attend your wedding," said Florentino. 

"I understand.  It's okay. I get it.  I wondered but I get it," said Alexander. Florentino let his son hold him for a bit.

"I always wanted to ask you but I wondered if it would be unwelcome," said Alexander.

"What is it? You know you can always ask me anything right? " asked Florentino.

"Can I call you Dad? " asked Alexander. Florentino just looked at the kid he has held when he was the size of a squirrel. 

"Yes, you can," said Florentino. 

Alexander smiled, a small twitch of his lips. 

"Dad"

Florentino wondered if he was still dreaming.  He could not be.  He hears Miguel clear his throat,  keeping it subtle.  The kid is evidently crying where he stood.  Florentine just held Alexander and pressed a kiss to his forehead even though his son is taller than him. 

Alexander looked up when they heard movement and was looking behind Florentino.

"Father"

Florentino felt the very familiar arm wrap around his waist. 

"Gustavo"

He turned with a small smile. 

"I told Alexo, " said Florentino.

"I heard. You and Izabel did more justice to him than I ever did.  I am sure Alexander agrees, " said Gustavo. 

Alexander did not say anything for a moment. 

"Good night, Dad," he said and bent down, pressed a kiss on Florentino's head.

"Father"

Alexander gave a slight nod to Gustavo before turning and reaching the stairs pulling Miguel into his arms as they left. 

Gustavo looked at Florentino. 

"Well,  proud dad,  can we go back to bed? " asked Gustavo trying to keep a straight face.  Florentino smacked him but let him lead him to their room- yes, their room.

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Haha,  So.  I know I shouldn't start a new book when I am simultaneously  working on the Ao3 books and this one.  I know.  But muse struck me down and is demanding that a book be written.  The idea just wouldn't go away. I might publish a new book in a few hours.  Also, do you like how we are going with the slow resolution here?