Way Back Home

The Date

Trigger Warning : Read End Note if you want to know what it is.

The date was arranged at their own property. The chefs have made food as per Gustavo's instructions. He dress ed in casuals.

He saw Flore at the living room. The whole family was around. He saw Alexander was also there. He seemed to be talking to his niece who was babbling.

He knew all were watching. He saw Miguel giving thumps up to Flore.

"Let's go," he said and Flore nodded. They stepped out. They were silent as they reached the location near the river side. They just exchanged small smiles here and there.

Gustavo extended his hand as they got out. Flore took it. It was nice to not walk alone again after a long time.

"This is your best house after the den," said Flore. He has always loved this place.

"You have always loved this place. Miguel was saying Alexander offered this place to you long back. Why didn't you take it?"

Flore just looked at him for a moment.

"I avoided places that reminded me of you," said Flore. Gustavo squeezed his hand tight for a moment and felt the pressure being returned.

They sat down opposite each other and the food was served. Both tucked in, their hands joined on top of the table. The staff left, mostly. Once they were done with it, both retired to the garden which sprawled onto the river banks. There is a sitting area. Of course, Miguel's handiwork is visible. He seems to have made the garden more beautiful.

"A drink?" asked Gustavo.

Florentino nodded.

"Something strong," he said. They opened a bottle of Macallan. They took a few shots silent as they sat there.

"I liked drinking with you, never trusted anyone to have my back when drunk," said Gustavo.

Florentino looked at him.

"And yet, you didn't come back to me," he said and he broke into tears at that. Florentino is not a man of tears. But the recent developments found him in a constant state of emotional roller coaster.

"Don't cry, please," said Gustavo sitting near him and wrapping his hands around Florentino pulling him close. They sat there like that.

"I felt guilty. She - You know I loved her. Jen. Not like - " he broke off there.

"But I have always loved her as my family. Yes we were set to be divorced. I never told you what she said about the divorce when she brought up the subject. She said she wanted someone to love her like I love you. She was not being mean about it, just - just asking me to let go and get what I want. Despite our marriage being one of convenience, she had pushed forward bravely knowing that I am biologically and mentally incapable of loving her the way she deserves. The divorce would have taken another year," he said, his head resting on Florentino's shoulder.

"I - don't judge me, I thought it's too long and wished I could, wished that we could get married sooner than that. I felt so guilty for thinking that and then we lost Jen. The whole year I spent in recovery, I was so deep in guilt. I could have come home sooner, but somehow, I felt like I was going to get my happily ever after while she never did get the love she deserved. All because of me. It wats- it took me years to grow out of that guilt. Years and meeting so many people in so many places, learning from them. Forgiving myself was not easy and I can't forgive myself ever for the injustice I did to you, Alex, Andrew and Izabel. It was too late to comeback then. I grew scared. But now, it felt foolish to stand back when you are all in danger," said Gustavo.

There was silence. Florentino's head was pressed against Gustavo's chest as he laid between the man's legs which were sprawled on the sofa.

"I thought I was being punished for wanting something I don't deserve. For wanting you who belonged to her," said Florentino. His voice so small as he said it, his sound broken.

"That's the problem, isn't it? I was never her's to begin with," said Gustavo, his own eyes glassy.

They sat there like that for some time.

"Ah, my back. I think age is a bitch," said Gustavo as they sat up. Florentino snorted.

"Come here," he said and gently massaged his back and Gustavo sighed in relief.

Gustavo laughed as he turned to Florentino who gave a small smile.

"Not an ideal date huh? Back pains are no incentives either for you to say yes," said Gustavo. Florentino looked at him and they kissed. This was not a chaste kiss, but rather a hungry one.

Their want- need for decades reflected in it as the devoured each other's mouth. Once they broke off, Gustavo just gazed at Florentino's face making him blush a little. He moved the salt and pepper strand of his hair that fell across his face.

"You are beautiful," said Gustavo. Florentino blushed a bit more. They
retired to bed after that, hugging each other as they laid there, looking out onto the calm river.

"I had- our first and only time together- you remember?"

"I have remembered it every day of my life after that."

"I- you left me a gift. I didn't know until I started to bleed. It was terrifying. I don't know how I survived that," said Florentino. He never said this to anyone other than Izabel who took care of him during the period. His heart broke every time he thought about that.

Gustavo felt himself freeze at that. He turned Florentino whose  face showed the absolute pain there.

"I was told that the pain will never go away but we have to move on. Every day I spent alone, I would wonder how different life would be if I- if I did know and took enough care. Maybe I would have been able to raise Alexander like he deserved. I would have been able to do many things differently. I lost my one chance to give birth to a child. I lost a life we made together. A little bit of you and me. It hurt badly. I imagine how they would have been," said Florentino.

Gustavo wiped those beautiful eyes and held him close. He couldn't stop his own tears this time as he held Florentino. They cried like children, clutching each other. But that was okay, they still has each other, in this time and place.

-----------------

Warning: Miscarriage