Felix is emotional after mistaking you for Rime

4.5K 84 12
                                    

You make your way to the rooftop of Escell's castle, the wind whipping at your shirt and hair. This staircase was one of many you discovered when you'd accidentally gotten lost, and since then, you come up here whenever you need a moment alone to gather your thoughts.

As hard as you're trying with the simplest of spells, sometimes it feels like there's no more evidence of you possessing magic in this realm than your own. And while Felix's belief that you can harness magic never seems to waver, you can't help notice that he stays up later and later trying to come up with new ways to instruct you, each of them as unsuccessful as the last.

You walk to one of the castle turrets, gently resting your hand on the stone as you look over the city of Porrima. The warm afternoon light is glinting in shades of bronze and reddish copper off the rooftops below, colourful flags and strings of errant laundry weaving between the streets. You slowly draw in a breath.

If even being here is possible, you remind yourself, then learning the way of this world is too.

There's a soft crunch of gravel on the staircase behind you. You spin around when you hear Felix's blurted whisper, the thought seeming to tumble from his mouth before he can halt it.

"...love?"

You feel a pang in your chest as your gaze meets Felix's a split-second later, his eyes watering fiercely as once again, he realises you are not the person he keeps mistaking you for. Felix ducks his head angrily, blinking in an effort to hold his manner. Your gaze slides sadly to the coffee he was carrying in his hand, his fingers tightened firmly around the cup to keep from trembling.

"I... I beg your pardon," Felix stammers, his mouth crumpling so miserably that you're worried he's going to make you cry too. "My apologies. I... I should take my leave."

He turns briskly, but before he can disappear back into the castle, you find yourself calling out.

"Felix, wait!" You see him halt at the edge of the staircase, shoulders still tense as if it hurts him to breathe.

"This... this is a really good spot," you say quietly, because while you don't want to force him to talk about anything if he's not ready, he looks like he badly needs a friend.

Slowly, Felix turns back to face you, his eyes red-rimmed and expression unforgiving. He lets out a strangled sort of laugh, and you're not sure if he's glaring at you or desperately trying not to.

"I won't embarrass you further," he says curtly, making a gesture with his free hand as if to indicate that his behaviour must be making you uncomfortable.

"You're not even embarrassing me a little," you blurt in return. You feel emotional to see him upset, and while you fail to find the right words to convey this to him, Felix seems to read the sincerity in your tone regardless. Sensing that he's feeling vulnerable enough without you staring him down, you attempt another glance toward the view of Porrima, a silent offer of your company without any pressure.

After a moment, you feel his presence beside you, both of you looking out over the city. Felix blows gently into the steam from his coffee as he raises the cup, then wordlessly offers it to you. The coffee looks to be brewed strong, no added milk. Your hand closes above his as you accept.

"In my expert opinion as a Barista," you say eventually, taking a long sip. "You're not half-bad at the magic of coffee either."

Felix, who possibly hasn't yet clarified with you what a Barista actually is, can't help looking slightly less tortured at your small attempt to cheer him.

"You're not a disappointment to me," Felix says eventually, letting out a heavy sigh that sounds something like guilt. When you startle in surprise that he somehow guessed your earlier worries, he rolls his eyes and nods vaguely to all the melted candles you've forgotten to retrieve after nights spent in extra practice. "I feel I owe you a more honest explanation, too," Felix continues, "about aspects of magic that haven't come easily to me. It isn't fair of me to let you place unrealistic expectations on yourself, thinking you are the only one who has ever struggled. The alchemic arts have many faces, and-"

"No, no, it's absolutely okay to be naturally good at something!" you say quickly, you don't want Felix to feel that he has to downplay his own abilities for the sake of making you feel better.

"Except that when it mattered, I wasn't," Felix says sharply, suddenly turning to you as if he can only bear to say it once. His eyes are alight, a haunted, broken expression flinches across his face. His voice is quiet and yet he looks like he wants to scream. "When it came to the only moment that mattered- the person that I... that you-"

You feel your throat go dry as Felix shakes his head, then presses the heels of his hands over both of his eyes, swiping outwards. He smiles bitterly.

"...sorry," Felix whispers.

You set down the coffee, then take one of his hands in yours, instinctively feeling that he wants to reach out to you but can't. He squeezes back with a tightness you didn't expect, his eyes closing as his shoulders briefly sag. It's a gesture that seems to dislodge the last of your defenses too, and before you can help it, you feel unbidden tears springing to your eyes just as abruptly. You give Felix an apologetic grimace as he stares at you.

"It's just... um... because you-" you laugh self-consciously at your own ridiculousness, which you hope loosely translates to 'because I hate seeing you so heartbroken and I'm so sorry for whatever it was you went through'. Before you can say more you hear Felix make a soft 'tch' sound, though it comes out kinder and far less exasperated than he's clearly aiming for. He hesitates, then gently presses his sleeve to the corner of your eye.

"Stop that," Felix says. "If you knew what rituals... how many times I've tried, and failed, to repair my mistake..." he clears his throat. "Suffice to say, I do not deserve it."

Sniffling, he retrieves his coffee and drinks the remaining half in one, glaring as the last vivid red light fades over the city.

-

Fictif Last Legacy: x reader oneshotsWhere stories live. Discover now