Fictif Last Legacy: x reader oneshots

Sage and Felix are disaster wingmen

[ or, 'the one where everyone actually follows Sage's dating advice' ^^;;;; honestly I just love the trope of misunderstandings, the boys doing their best and the ensuing ridiculousness ]

-

"Ahh, I dunno, Annie," you can hear Sage saying. "I don't really plan anything, y'know? Just kinda go with the flow?"

"Yes, yes, that's exactly what I mean!" comes Anisa's voice now. "If one wanted to do that- go with the flow- how might one... hypothetically, I mean-"

You bury your head further into your pillow, groaning. Sage and Anisa both apparently need a lot less sleep than regular mere mortals, it's hours before sunrise and they're already up loudly discussing some kind of battle strategy in the next room.

"Well, my game plan didn't exactly work on you," Sage snorts, you can almost see his wolfish smile as he tries to wind her up, then a faint thump. "Or, Felix, for matte- ow, oww-"

"Sage, I'm being serious!" says Anisa, the sound of more tussling and muffled whispers through the wall. "I'm in serious need of aid here!"

"You're in need of- what about me? There's some crazy knight lieutenant pinching my ear- agh, I'll talk, I'll talk!" Sage laughs again, his heavy boots creaking on the floorboards. "But you gotta... I gotta warn you, these techniques are pretty foolproof! You can't just use them on anybody, with great power-"

They descend into further scuffling as you pull the heavy blankets over your head as well. Whoever Anisa's planning to combat with this plan of attack, they must really have it coming if she's going to Sage for advice. You're pretty sure Sage was once the leader of the Griefers, a gang so deadly that even Felix looks pale at their mention.

"Okay, okay," Sage chuckles, catching his breath. "You're not gonna like this first one."

You half-heartedly peel back the covers as a long silence follows, daring to hope they've maybe finally moved to another room, before-

"-ABSOLUTELY NOT!" yelps Anisa, Sage making a startled guffaw that sounds too much like he's grinning. "I'm trying to court them, not terrify them!"

A perilous diplomatic mission then, you think sleepily, shaking your head.

"Heh, your loss," Sage says nonchalantly, then gives a loud yawn. Good to know his love of early mornings isn't as unshakable as you thought. "You wanna start easy? Tell a funny joke."

"I... don't know any jokes," Anisa says worridley.

"Wear as little shirt as possible. Win a bar fight," Sage continues, as if he's casually counting off a list of tried and tested suggestions. "Not just any bar fight, mind. You gotta be up against someone who actually stands a good chance of annihilating you."

"Ugh, Sage, stop, stop-"

"Hey, I'm not kidding here, if you're gonna brawl with someone-"

"Would you two please ever so kindly hush!" comes Felix's whisper, laden with deeply affected decorum. You had no idea he was trying to sleep in Sage and Anisa's room too, and realising it probably shouldn't be as amusing as it is. "Or void take me, I'll go next door and propose for you right now!"

You muffle a yawn, wondering what Starsworn in-joke could possibly have elicited the hushed squawk from Anisa and cackling from Sage that follows. You turn over, feeling the heavy tug of sleep taking you once more.

-

The conversation you overheard drifts into your mind as you continue training with Anisa the next day. You join her on her regular city patrol, watching as Anisa mediates disputes between the citizens of Mournfall. By afternoon you've recovered stolen washing from clotheslines, listened to complaints about a fruit stall out of bounds, and taken down several rather unflattering likenesses of the Archmage plastered all over the town square.