¹ MONSTERS | SPAM

o74. ❤️

074. ❤️ [update on myself]
to: dearreaders@gmail.com
subject: it's been so long and I'm so so sorry for that

Hey everyone, I don't even know where to start. I never said I was going on a hiatus but here I am coming back from one. Kinda weird, right? I'm sorry about that.

I vanished for almost a year, and just left all my friends here hanging. The same with my books. If I'm being 100% honest, which I am, I lost inspiration for a while. Like it became a burden to write and maybe you can see it in my many many mistakes in grammar on some of my previous chapters from a year ago. Hell, I make mistakes in grammar now but I catch them more often when I do.

Sorry, kinda went off on a tangent there. Speaking of tangents, one of the many reasons writing became so exhausting was because of all my coursework being handed to me. And I mean, a lot. I didn't join clubs last semester and I can finally ease up into some now. I guess that includes hobbies as well, so here I am.

     Again, I'm sorry for not mentioning anything about my hiatus. I guess you could say I was too busy with school? It's not just school though, I mean I wanted to try and find a healthy balance between school and outside life. I sorta found it? I mean, I'm kinda walking on a tight rope here but it's the best I can do at the moment.

Here's a little break down of how I spend my time on a typical school day:

12 am to 6:30 am | SLEEP
6:30 am to 8 am | GET READY FOR SCHOOL/ETC
8 am to 3:30 pm | SCHOOL
3:30 pm to 4:00 pm | ME TIME
4:00 pm to 5:30 pm | WALKING/TAKING CARE OF MY DOGS
5:30 pm to 6:00 pm | ME TIME
6:00 pm to 6:30 pm | DINNER
6:30 pm to 8:00 pm | ME TIME
8:00 pm to 12:00 am | HOMEWORK

I don't know why I wrote that it's just for me to see I guess. But the problem is that throughout the whole day, I'm exhausted so when I get a chance for any free time I rather watch videos on YouTube than write a chapter for a fic I have. It's less nerve-wracking and it lets my brain relax.

Then I do homework really late at night, and I wish it was because I procrastinated during the day but it's not. I have extreme trouble focusing on any homework after school. My house is loud, people are constantly doing something and that doesn't let me concentrate. Listening to music doesn't help me either. I used to get so frustrated at myself and would start to cry because I couldn't concentrate. So my solution? Start doing homework at night when no one is awake and when it's all silent and peaceful.

That kinda backfired when I started to get even more exhausted than I usually was. Nowadays, I go to school jacked up on coffee so I don't fall asleep in class but I'm still constantly tired. (But there's no school anymore until further notice because of the Coronavirus - which on another note: I hope everyone is safe and well, please to take care of yourselves and family members)

The constantly tired part hasn't really changed, but my sleep schedule is completely messed up because of no school. Anyways, what I'm trying to say through all these excuses for me being absent on here is: I'm sorry I left unannounced.

If it means anything, I'm getting back into writing. With the hopes of not burning myself out by daily updates. I don't want this place to become a chore for me, like something I have to do. I'll still update books, and try to regularly, but I think I'm more here for the experience than anything else. That means: making friends, reading fics, and just having a fun time here.

So to all my friends on here: Hi, I really really missed you guys! I would love to catch up with you guys, it's been way too long! How's everything in your lives going? I would really like to know what's been happening since I was away!

UNEDITED.