~ Trapped in heaven ~

Chapter 8: Find me

Jasmine's POV

I was crying during the entire flight back home and I am still crying, laying on my bed. I look around and she just isn't here. No more of her gorgeous smile or pretty brown eyes. No more deep talks. Just me and my forsaken room. It's been a week already. I let the girl I love just dissapear, what did I do?

"You have to eat something at least. Jeez, you look like a wreck, all thanks to that stupid girl who fooled you." My mom barged into my room, as usual, feeling confident about having the power in this house.

"Don't you ever call her stupid! You don't know her, you didn't even show an interest to get closer with her! Have you ever been brokenhearted? Imagine how would you feel if my dad left you." All of sudden, she just stayed quiet.

"It won't be the end of the world. I am sure it was just another summer love, you two wouldn't last together forever, don't worry. Rather start studying for school, I am going to cook something." I was really mad at my mom, still hating on Lauren and not giving us a chance.

It's true that I was a passionate student but that was just until I met her. I didn't feel like doing anything, just crying thinking about all the beautiful moments we shared. I became bored and decided to go to study one particular subject called Lauren Christine Cimorelli. 

I opened my lock screen and smiled, looking at my phone background of us two kissing. I am never going to delete that. I discovered the joy to finally explore social sites. I am like never on sites chatting, I know it sounds weird saying in this era of technology. But Lauren made me change my mind, it became like a need for me now, being in touch with her. I made the decision of finally getting on Instagram after like 125468 years. I just simply typed the name of my girlfriend into the search cell. What my eyes saw then, left me in shock. Why I didn't know this earlier? I always knew that she was hiding something from me, like the music studio in her room, her singing me to sleep or her sisters singing anytime I would walk in between their rooms. I honestly thought that it was just her hobby. But apparently this account she has is official and verified. So my girlfriend is famous. I checked my followers. Oh yeah, of course that she had to follow me with her private. What a cunning rat. Famous or not, I got to know her as a normal and ordinary girl. She is just a person, fragile just like all of us. I started doing my research on all social medias and found out that she is in a band called Cimorelli also with her sisters. Wow, it's the time to actually change something. What kind of girlfriend I am when I don't even know her music. I gotta become her biggest stan.

"Jasmine, sorry to interrupt you but you got a package. Here, catch it." My dad really surprised me. Wait, was I expecting something? I didn't ask for anything. I looked at that encapsulated box and carefully started removing the white wrapper. Hold on, what's the address? Nashville? What's going on? I literally ripped the whole box to get to the book Lauren sent to me. Yeah, that's how excited I was. I looked more carefully into the box, making sure I took out everything. But I caught a sight of something. A handwritten letter? Lauren still cares. I started reading it:

Dear Jasmine,

my heart is breaking knowing that you can't be here with me anymore but hey, we got this. I thought I would make you at least a bit happier with sending you this book about enneagrams. I am so glad that I convinced you to get into psychology, my impact. :) Hopefully, it will remind you of me. I am always here even when you can't see me. Signs like this can be always found. Just when you feel like crying, remember that I live on this planet at the same time, just on another continent. I miss you and love you so much.

Your girlfriend, Lauren 

How can a person this perfect even exist? I really felt like crying after reading it but then I remembered what Lauren told me, I just have to be strong. If we are really meant to be, God will arrange it like that.

Lauren's POV

You can't imagine how hard is being in a long distance relationship. I was used to waking up next to her but each next morning I open my eyes, she is just gone. I was used to falling asleep in her warm embrace and now I just have to cry myself to sleep. I have no one to protect, no one to take care of. No matter how hard I try to move on and fall in love with somebody else, I just can't. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. 

I got to my window and opened it. The sky was full of stars and they were shining bright. "Jasmine, how are you doing? Did you get the surprise I send to you? I know you are up there, I just have to figure out which one is the biggest shining star because that's what you are to me. Please tell me that you are thinking about me now because I am. I can't stop thinking about you. Jasmine Adair, I love you." I tried to make a connection with her by talking to stars. Obviously, I got no response but I was smiling. I started quietly singing Find Me, the song I wrote with my sisters.

I count the stars in the sky
I wonder if you're looking at them too
I know you're out there
I can't wait 'til I find you
But until then

Every struggle, every goodbye
Every heartbreak, it's all for you
I'll go through it a hundred times
In hopes that I'll end up with you
And, oh
I know you're doing the same
Tryna find me too
Tryna find me too, ooh

"This would have been my lullaby to you, goodnight, Jasmine." I was basically speaking with myself but I felt like her energy was there with me all the time. I sighed closing the window and tried to fall asleep with her in my mind.