Return of the Ren// Kylo Ren x Rey

chapter twenty-seven- guilt

If there are any grammar mistakes or sentences that don't make sense, please leave a comment so I can fix them:)

HOWS YALL'S QUARANTINE GOING?????????????????????????????????????????? I GOT DOMINOES TODAY

PLS LEAVE A COMMENT ON WHAT I SHOULD WATCH ON NETFLIX TO PASS THE TIME

PLS COMMENT

PLS

I NEED HELP

IM BORED

Rey sighed as the steaming hot water fell down her body. Her eyes were closed and her face was facing the water nozzle. She felt her naked skin absorb the burning water. Shampoo mixed with her hair, getting out all of the dirt and grime. She massaged the shampoo in her hair, clawing her fingertips in her scalp, before rinsing it in the scalding water. 

It had been her first shower since the simulation room- she had been wholly afraid of water since then. Whenever she went around it, flashbacks of the crashing waves she had nearly downed in played in her head, reminding her of her fear. Rey had finally mustered up the courage to shower, knowing that she needed to clean herself. 

So far, it hadn't been too hard to forget about what happened as there was much more in her mind.

Why did I do that? Why did I kiss Alexander? What in Exegol's name was I thinking? 

Rey groaned, shaking her head. Guilt gnawed at her, enveloping her in distress. So many conflicting feelings. Ever since the previous night when Rey kissed him and went back to her bedroom, thoughts have been swarming her head nonstop. Thoughts saying it was the right thing to do- and it did, it felt right- and thoughts that teared open her guilt, saying it was despicable and cruel. She was at war with herself, both sides battling, spilling blood.

At least I have come to terms that I'm okay with Ben yelling at me- I don't even know why I got so scared. He deserved to say those things- what he said about Luke abandoning him is completely true. And he would never hurt me on purpose- he usually is very careful around me. I just hope he isn't mad at himself for it. I honestly have bigger problems- like Alexander..

She felt hopeless and indecisive. Both sides of her heart were pulling her to their side, yanking her. She didn't know what to do. Alexander... he was like a rushing crystal waterfall that she had spent years in the jungle trying to discover, and just having found it. She wanted to dive into the waterfall and feel the rush of freezing cold water hydrate and refresh her. But Ben, he was like a cave of kyber crystals. He is dark and ominous at first, quite dangerous on the outside. But when you know him more, you find the kyber crystals, and they shine so brilliantly you want to be there forever, with him.

Rey scrubbed a dollop of fruit body wash all over her body, making it smell like watermelon and blackberries. Soap suds formed all over her, which were promptly washed off by the water. 

Rey moved her saturated hair behind her neck, basking in not just the scalding water, but her uncertain thoughts. 

She knew three things.

I feel something for Alexander. 

I love Ben Solo.

And I feel so, undeniably guilty for kissing Alexander.

Rey closed her eyes, tears almost as hot as the shower running down her red cheeks. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, causing the handle to squeak loudly. She grabbed a fluffy white towel on the nearby rack and wrapped it around her body, folding it in the front to keep it up.