My Fortunate Event (Klaus Baudelaire x Reader)

The Reptile Room Part 1

♪Look away, look away♪
♪Look away, look away♪
♪This show will wreck your evening Your whole life and your day♪
♪Every single episode Is nothing but dismay♪
♪So look away Look away, look away♪
♪The Baudelaires plus one are living ♪
♪With a man who studies snakes♪
♪He's jolly and he's secretive And makes a few mistakes♪
♪Spoiler alert A villain comes to steal and murder♪
♪And so if I were you I wouldn't even watch one minute further♪
♪Just look away, look away♪
♪There's nothing but horror And inconvenience on the way♪
♪Ask any stable person "Should I watch?" And they will say♪
♪Look away, look away, look away♪
♪Look away, look away♪
♪Look away, look away♪
♪Look away, look away♪

Lemony Snicket's POV

"Woe is me. Woe is me."

The cry you're hearing is that of the broken-hearted crocodile. It is a rare species of reptile found in swampy regions that are particularly sad.

My name is Lemony Snicket, and it is my sworn duty to carefully research the dire plight of the Baudelaire orphans and Y/N who's stories are now one and will remain one until the end. But there is no reason for you to make yourself as miserable and melancholy as I am. If I were you, I would look away before viewing any of the horrible and horrifying events that comprise this ghastly new episode... in the Baudelaires' and Y/N's unfortunate lives.

Y/N's POV

It felt as if we were driving for hours after Mr. Poe dropped his wife off at his house. 
"It's a brand-new episode in your lives, Baudelaires and Ms. Y/N. In a few minutes you'll be meeting your new guardian, Dr. Montgomery. He's your closest living relative and apparently should've been your guardian all along, according to your deceased parents' will. I'm beginning to think it was a mistake to listen to that oddly-dressed consultant who walked into my office with no references and no identification, and who suggested that I place you in Count Olaf's care," Mr. Poe explained.
"We all wholeheartedly agree," said Violet. 
"You're a disgrace to your profession," Sunny babbled. 
"My recently-rehired secretary Jacquelyn is nervous that Count Olaf is still at large, but I don't think Olaf will be able to find you way out here. Oh, look, there's an easy-to-read sign for Lousy Lane," said Mr. Poe as he pointed to the sign labeled "Lousy Lane".

Lemony Snicket's POV

Y/N and the Baudelaire orphans more than wholeheartedly agreed. And living with Count Olaf had been more than a mistake. It had been a disaster. It had been a catastrophe. And the worst of it was that the villainous Count Olaf was still at large, a phrase which here means that the authorities had not caught him and would not catch him for a very long time.

"By the way, the police tell me they feel very confident that Count Olaf will be caught in no time at all. Ah, here's the turn."
*pulls up to the turn and turns right*

Lousy Lane is perhaps the most unpleasant lane in the world. It runs past an orchard of trees which once produced apples so sour, one only had to look at them to feel ill. And it encircles a horseradish factory, so the entire area smells bitter and strong.

Y/N'S POV

Almost as soon as Mr. Poe took the turn, the air around us was replaced with a scent that was bitter and strong. Mr. Poe started to cough and Klaus made a face.
"Uh, what... what is that smell?" Klaus asked, trying not to gag. 
"It's ginger, I believe. We're here," Mr. Poe coughed. 

We pulled up to a very green and very fancy structure. Everything was covered in beautiful green vines. The house looked like it had a huge cage behind it. And around us were trimmed bushes in shapes of reptiles. It was beautiful.