FATE

41. Jonah's ex

BROOKE

It's been a week and two days since Hailee's accident and Jonah hasn't come to school once. My mind hasn't been exactly where it should be and sometimes I find myself staring into space like he often does, missing him and wondering if things would go back to normal once Hailee is okay. I can't help but feel embarrassed by my selfishness and jealousy because I know he loves her and he should be with her for now yet I can't bring myself to be fully okay with it.

We don't text as much as we used to. That night outside the hospital was the last time I saw him and when we text, the conversations are usually short and straightforward. He never fails to remind me of how much he loves me and I think he does that because he doesn't want me to have the exact thoughts I'm having right now- that something is wrong and he's being his usual self and keeping it to himself. But I love him, I really do and when all of this is over, I hope we go back to the way we were

My phone lights up and I stare at it. His name flashes on my screen and I smile before picking it up. From the corner of my eye, I can see Mandy watching me. She hasn't been exactly okay with my reaction to the Jonah's behavior this past week. According to her, I'm letting it distract me.

"I'll be in school soon, I'd like to give you a ride home if that's fine." The text reads.

Before I can reply, the bell rings and I realize I've missed the entire class. I sigh as I stare at my notebook—blank as usual. Maybe Mandy is right and I am letting Jonah distract me, but I'll never fully admit that to her. I pack my books into my backpack and close it, wearing it over both shoulders. I pick up my phone from the desk and text him back.

"We just got done with class so I'll be outside soon. Mandy's supposed to follow me home."

"Hey, the literature homework is due next week Wednesday right?", Carmen asks as it turn off my phone and hold on to it just in case another text comes in.

"Yeah", I say softly, staring at her and she nods. Considering how much trouble Carmen gave me in the beginning about how close I was to Jonah, she has been more supportive recently. She has also changed- physically, she looks even more stressed and tired than she usually does. Her hair is always in the same loose bun everyday and Mandy commented on how she looked like she was loosing weight just yesterday because her jeans look flappy and not fitted as usual but Carmen told her she was just exaggerating everything.

When they talk most times, I am able to stay in the conversation for a while but then I drift off into my thoughts again and then Mandy pulls me back and changes the topic to how distracted I am by Jonah's absence.

Carmen holds on to her bag as we walk out of the class. Mandy had disappeared almost immediately the bell rang. We both know the reason why and when we walk out of the classroom, he looks like he's trying to eat her face off.

"The amount of PDA these two exhibit daily is amazing", Carmen says, "only science can explain just why they haven't had public sex already"

I laugh as we watch them. Mandy has been seeing Danny since before the night of the party but according to her, the party was their "first date", if getting high and making out in the midst of your fellow hormonal teenagers could be considered as a date of course. Nevertheless I can see Mandy likes him and Danny, I think likes her too, it's hard to tell since I didn't know him well enough. We have only really hung out once, the day we played twenty one questions in the locker room. I haven't forgotten the question Hailee asked him about whether he had a fetish for blonde girls.

But he's always around Mandy, by her locker every morning to say hi to her, sometimes inbetween classes, he sits with his friends during lunch though, but he never fails to give her long goodbye kisses after school.