The Secrets of Confessions ✔️

Jyoti's Diary (#1)

She's only three years old, but she's so full of energy. I love how she giggles whenever I bathe her or when I sing her favorite song under my breath to calm her down when she's throwing a fit. Honestly, she's one of the best things that's happened to me. I don't know how I got so blessed with someone like her as a daughter, but here we are. I don't even deserve her, you know. Nor do I deserve Mason.

    He's been nothing more than a great father figure to Ashmita, and a great friend overall in this whole process. I'm way too lucky in life, considering everything that's happened in the past few years. The one thing that I love when it comes to their relationship is how he gently tickles her when she just wants to laugh, but can't do it.

Also, bless Mason, he's the only one that can get her to eat her vegetables without her fussing and creating a huge mess. I know that if he ever decides to have kids, especially with Sarah, then I know he's going to be an amazing father. I mean, he handles Ashmita perfectly fine, probably better than I ever will.

If he ever has kids, then he's going to have no problem at all. I like to think Ashmita is like prep for having his own kids in the future. But it's good prep. Even though I love her to death, she can tire me out sometimes. But I couldn't ask for a better daughter.

    Also, I finally did it. I'm not the kind of person who makes people promise me things. Hell, I'm not the kind of person who makes promises to myself as a whole. So, pushing myself to do this is kind of a huge deal. So, I went up to Mason, and told him about the promise that I had in mind for a while.

Thank goodness Ashmita was napping at the time, otherwise she would've guessed something was wrong. She may be small, but she's a smart girl. She's not old enough to decipher what we're talking about thankfully.

I put Ashmita down for her nap, and then I sit on the couch to tell Mason everything. "Mason, I need to talk to you about something."

Mason walks out of the kitchen, sipping a glass of water. "Yeah, what's up, Jyoti?" he asks.

"Sit down," I command, which causes him to get a little bit worried. To be fair, when I command him to do something without a 'please,' then he knows what we're going to talk about is gonna get really serious.

He sits down, this time, asking, "You're scaring me, Jyoti. I haven't been this scared since my mom found out I hid my failed physics test from her, and she was waiting for me at the bottom of the steps with the death glare on her face."

I chuckle, as he just crosses his legs. "No, it's not that bad. I do need to talk to you about some other things. It's about Ashmita."

Mason's eyes widen. "Did the medical bills come through? Jyoti, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have fed her seafood! I'll pay for it!"

I widen my eyes. "Uh, no? Damn, you're jumpy today. No, I just want to talk about her future."

He relaxes a little bit. "Wait, why am I relaxing? That's equally as stressful."

I snicker. "No, this isn't really stressful. I just wanted to discuss something. So, there's going to be a time in the future where I'm not going to be around." Mason's eyes widen a little bit more, like he just got told he just got cheated on.

He shakes his head, as I just watch his shock come from the whole situation. "No. No, Jyoti, don't say that. Please, don't. You're going to be an amazing mother. You're going to watch Ashmita grow up, go to college, get married, have kids. Don't be so negative about the near future!"

I shake my head. I know for a fact that I'm not going to be there in the future. There's just so many factors and many more potential factors that could play out in the future in which I can't see my baby grow up. It hurts to admit it, because not being there for Ashmita is my worst fear.