I Think I Love You | Randy

track 13. love really hurts without you - billy ocean

Don't you know I'm out of my mind? So give me a sign and help to ease the pain inside me.

***

Mikey was drunk when he came out to Rye. It was in our second to last year of college at at party for just the football team. Rye had told me later down the line how the conversation went.

"Hey Rye?"

"Yeah?"

"I think your friend is hot."

"Who? Cassie?" Rye had guessed. She was one of Rye's friends, and most of the guys on the team had a crush on her. She was beautiful and more confident with her sexuality than most sixteen year old guys could handle. Rye had hooked up with her himself on a couple of occasions, and this wouldn't have been the first time one of his mates had wanted his advice on a way in.

"No," Mikey had giggled. "Andy."

"Andy?"

This was new for Rye. He had been on his guard, because even though most of his mates were okay with me being gay, I knew there were still some snickers in the locker room. Probably more than Rye had ever cared to tell me about.

"Yeah. Did you know I'm gay?" Mikey whispered, bursting into a fit of drunk giggles, scandalised at the revelation of his own secret.

Rye had carefully considered these words over the next few days. Did Mikey remember telling him? Should he let Mike know that he knew? And most of all, had he meant what he'd said? He was dying to ask, but Rye knew it wasn't his place to ask questions about somebody's sexuality. Even at sixteen he'd understood things like that. If Mikey wanted to talk about it again when he was sober, Rye would be there to listen, but it had to come from Mikey. So all Rye could do was watch.

It became obvious apparently, that Mikey's confessions was true. Rye started noticing it almost immediately. From the way he always made excuses to talk to me at parties and sit next to me in class. Whether it was asking a question about his homework or what my plans for the weekend were, he always found a reason to get closer to me. Rye had watched his friend crush on me and apparently decided somewhere along the line that it was time for my tragically single ass to find someone. And he approved of Mikey, because Mikey was a good guy.

"Andy, do you ever wonder what it's like to hook up with somebody?"

My heart had raced at his question, because I was still caught in that miserable phase of being head over heels in love with him. "What do you mean? I've hooked up with people."

"Yeah, girls while you were drunk," he pointed out. "I mean like don't you wanna hook up with someone you like?"

I frowned. "Of course I do. But it's not like there's any gay guys lining up for me in this town, so..."

"You sure about that?" The way he was looking at me was enough to throw me for a second.

"Are you offering?" I gaped at him.

"No," he smirked. "Is that what you want?"

"You wish," I scoffed, trying to hide my embarrassment. "What are you on about, then?"

"I know somebody who likes you," he teased in a sing-song voice.

"You're funny, Ryan."

"I'm serious."

"Who, then?"

"I can't tell you yet."