I Think I Love You | Randy

track 32. it's too late - carole king

It's too late baby now, it's too late, though we really did try to make it.

***

"You're late, bitch," Olivia said as she opened the door, her face falling as soon as she looked at me.

I knew I was a mess. I'd been crying on the whole walk over and I wasn't even close to getting it all out of my system. My body ached and my heart even more so, Olivia enveloping me in her arms as I dropped my bag to the floor and fell against her.

"Andy who did this to you? Who do I need to kill? I still have connections-"

"I did," I sobbed, interrupting her. "I was so stupid."

Olivia lead me inside and sat me down on her couch, my body wrapping around hers as she let me cry it out over her nice outfit that now definitely wouldn't be hitting the town.

"Can I stay here for a while?" I asked her when I could breathe again. "Just until I find somewhere else to live."

"Of course," she said. "But why do you need somewhere else to live?"

I was hard to get through the entire story but I told her everything. She nodded along as she listened, comforting me whenever I needed a break.

"Oh, Andy." She had tears in her eyes by the time it was over. "I'm so sorry, love."

"Everything's just falling apart," I said softly. "None of this was supposed to happen."

"It sounds like the two of you had this coming for a long time," she countered. "I know it hurts now but it's good you had the strength to walk out when you did."

I nodded, even though I was not entirely sure I had made the right decision at all. Seeing Rye that broken had been devastating and maybe I should have been more patient with him. But I had to remind himself that he was not sad to lose me because I was the love of his life, but simply because I was supposed to be a permanent fixture in it.

***

Olivia let me stay on her couch over the next week or so, developing something of a routine over the short span of time we'd been living together.

In the mornings we ate breakfast together before heading out to our separate classes. We met for lunch and coffees when our study breaks lined up, and then we'd come home together in her car. I'd spend a few minutes half heartedly browsing through housing options without making any serious attempts at investigating them, something about locking myself into a new arrangement carrying a finality I wasn't yet ready to accept. Like clockwork from around seven PM, Rye would start bombing my phone and wouldn't let up for a few hours. The first time I'd made the mistake of answering, the sound of his incoherent crying sending me spinning into the darkness of that night all over again. Now, that was the time I usually left my phone in the bedroom and curled up on Olivia's couch to watch TV. Brook came over a couple of times to wallow in mutual heartbreak with me, but he stopped when the whole affair just became a little too depressing. I couldn't blame him, I wasn't much company at the moment.

Liv was making constant attempts at cheering me up or distracting me, the latter always working more effectively than the former. When Saturday night came around, she pried the tub of ice cream I'd been nursing from my grip, the determined look on her face already putting me on my guard.

"We're going out," she announced.

"I'm not in the mood. You should ask Brook."

"I know you're not in the mood which is why I'm forcing you." She took my hands in hers and pulled me to my feet, giving me a gentle kick in the direction of the bathroom. "Get ready."