I Think I Love You | Randy

track 28. romeo's tune - steve forbert

Meet me in the middle of the night. Let me hear you say everything's alright.

***

"Do you wanna go away again this summer?" Rye asked from across the breakfast table.

"Like where?"

"I don't know," he hummed. "Anywhere. Maybe somewhere far away this time like Mexico or Jamaica or Australia."

"Australia?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You don't like Australia?"

"I've never been."

"I know," he grinned. "That's the point of travelling, right?"

"You running away from something?" I joked. Rye seemed to take the question seriously though, pondering it for a few moments.

"Everything, I guess."

It was all very well to talk about escaping to the other side of the planet, but that didn't mean our issues wouldn't follow us wherever we went. Postponing difficult conversations was something we were getting good at, although I had a foreboding sense that the longer we tried to outrun them, the harder they would crash into us when they caught up. Summer was still a good few months off and it was highly unlikely I would be able to hold out until then in this limbo. Jumping into a physical relationship probably hadn't helped things either, but I had a feeling that even despite the 'birthday loophole' it would be difficult to stop now it had begun. Especially when it felt so good to be with him. But no matter how hard we continued to fall into each other, Rye wasn't ready to face up to the reality of it yet. And I wasn't planning on pushing him, because even though it was concerning me, I wasn't sure I was quite ready for it either. Everything had just changed so fast in the matter of a few hours.

"Okay then," I said, deciding to play along. "What do we tell the good people of Australia while we're there?"

"What do you mean? We don't tell them anything, that's the point."

"What do you tell the hot Aussie babe in the club who wants to take you home?"

"How hot are we talking?"

"Answer the question, Ryan."

Rye's lips twitched into a smile, seeing what I was getting at. "I'll tell her I'm taken."

My eyes narrowed. "Are you telling her the truth?"

"She doesn't need to know that," Rye smirked. "But it doesn't matter, because I don't wanna sleep with her anyway. I have you."

My face dropped at that, because he was right. He did have me, he had always had me. But I didn't know if I had him.

"Babe?" Rye could clearly sense the sudden change in my mood. He also looked nervous, probably anticipating what I was going to say next.

"We don't have to talk about it," I reassured him, getting up from my seat. "I just- I don't know, Rye."

I disappeared into my bedroom, pulling a pillow over my face as if it could somehow act as a shield from the influx of thoughts that was pouring in again. But of course I couldn't stop them, because they were coming from inside my own brain, and yet I simply couldn't make top or tail of them.

"Andy," Rye pried the pillow away from my face and throwing it away. He laid down on the bed next to me, snuggling into me. "Do you regret sleeping together?" he whispered.

"No," I answered honestly. "But that doesn't mean we should have done it."

He hummed, pulling my face in his chest, not having an answer for me. I knew it was because he was about as close to finding one as I was.