Agni, a loud and sarcastic astronomy student from the University of Chicago, is suddenly transported to another world filled with mythical creatures. Unfortunately, fulfilling the role she's brought there for is difficult in ways she never expected...
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"You sound like a disgruntled nun with that 'the universe has decided it's time to repent' bull shit." Looking at the anguish deep in his jade green eyes, I don't know how I ever thought this man was a murderer.
Ok, yes I do. He told me he killed his sister. It's understandable why my mind took the leap there.
But still, it's obvious that he's harboring this grief in the form of guilt. I feel like I should be better equip to deal with this because of my mom's background, but I don't have a clue how to make him understand that a 7 year old shouldn't be responsible for his family's safety. A hug may be a good place to start.
I gradually remove my hand from his elbow and bring it to his waist. I try to consider his 'macho man' pride, curious if he will even allow my hug. He looks at me quizzically, like he has no idea what I'm doing, but is willing to find out. My toes line up with his as I take a couple steps closer and wrap my arms securely around him.
I feel his body gradually relax as he brings his tree trunks to rest on my sides. His chin buries itself in my hair and I choose not to give him a hard time about the audible sniff he takes.
I expect this to be uncomfortable, for a multitude of reasons really. Comforting others makes me feel awkward, especially people I don't know well. Add to that the fact that this is Grabby McGraberson, I figured my body would be crawling out of my skin. But, this feels... normal? Safe? Nice? I don't know the exact feeling.
"You were seven, Cai. You can't have that expectation of yourself. Think about your mom and sister, they wouldn't want you to live like this."
"You can't know that."
"I do, because that's how parents are. My dad always said that no matter what happened in life he wanted me to be happy." The dog tags around my neck suddenly feel heavier, along with my heart. "When he died I had to remind myself every day that I couldn't have changed it. I always thought, 'What if I had begged him to stay that time?'. But those what ifs aren't real Cai and there's no reason to be caught up on them. All you can do is move forward."
"Thanks, Ni." He clears his throat. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, if that's ok."
Obviously that isn't the response I wanted. An 'oh wow Agni, you're right. I have unrealistic expectations for little Cai and completely relinquish myself of any wrong doing' would have been nice. I mean that was the goal. But, twenty years of pain will take more than one conversation to heal. I'm impatient though, and would prefer an immediate fix. This is why I didn't go into psychology.
I simply nod my head into his chest before stepping back. He's avoiding my eyes, obviously ill at ease with the turn of events. I've said before that I don't think he talks to people much, and that was probably a lot to share with someone. Especially me, who he doesn't really care for.
So, I decide that I can help him out by changing the subject to a drastically happier one!
"When I was eight, I joined a competition for who could name the most stars at my school. This was the first time everyone there was learning about stars, but my dad had taught me everything I needed to know already."
