Royal Mistake || BxB || Complete.

Chapter Nineteen

Alexander's POV:

'you know I really never thought you would smoke', he smiled and lightly shook his head, 'it's stress relief', 'don't be stressed, love is a pain in the ass but you get over it, I promise', 'thank you', I threw the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it. 

He sighed, 'I probably should head home before the buses stop for the day', I frowned, 'come on, don't be ridiculous, I haven't seen you in years, stay the night', 'you can't get over love if you're facing it Alexander', I chuckled, 'fine, at least text me, will you?', he handed me his phone and I put my number in, I gave it back, 'Lex, huh?, haven't thought about that in a long time', 'I liked it, you had a weird thing where you would always find the shortest way to say people's names', 'names are just too long', I let out a soft laugh. 

We both stood up, 'shit, I've missed you so much', I pulled him into a tight hug and he returned it, 'I promise I'll visit at Oxford, and I probably won't have the heart to leave and security will have to pry me off campus', we both pulled back but remained close, 'I'll gladly hide you in my room for as long as you want', 'be careful on your way home, and text me as soon as you can', he chuckled, 'I will Alex, goodnight', his face flushed a light red color and he quickly pecked my cheek, I watched him walk out and then fell back into my chair, I hoped for a cold gust of wind to blow away my increasingly growing embarrassment, he always did that, and my body just realized how much it missed it.

I spent the rest of the night with my sketchbook on the balcony, the muffled sound of music creeping its way into my ears, I observed every person as they left, and slowly the music faded and so did the people, the gates closed and I sighed, everyone had left and I was looking forward to a night of long needed sleep to forget all about the party. 

I went inside and placed my sketchbook down, I stretched a little, throwing my jacket aside, a knock echoed through the room and I hummed to let the person in, the door opened and I was met with a sheepish smile, 'Charles', was all I could say, he awkwardly walked in closing the door behind him, 'I'm s-sorry, you left the party and I couldn't check in with you earlier, are you okay?', his words were a mess of stutters but his face was concerned, 'I'm alright, I ran into an old friend and we caught up', his eyes flashed a bit of pain. 

'I thought I was the only one, your only friend I mean', he chuckled and I smiled, 'hurts to not be so special huh?', we walked to the balcony and sat just as me and Warren were sitting, but this felt different, words etched at my throat, except I couldn't say any of them, fear and the distant memory of the proposal held me back, and they were much stronger than I was.

Charles's POV:

I breathed in the air after being inside so long, it felt refreshing, 'someone finally popped the question, how are you feeling?', his words sounded bitter, and I wanted to answer truthfully, I felt like shit, like nothing in my life has felt this wrong, 'okay I think, it was very nerve wrecking but I managed to not mess up', I let out a dry laugh. 

'what about this friend of yours, you never mentioned him before', he smiled, 'let's just say he was a slightly painful memory, but not anymore, we're okay now', my mind went back to that promise we made each other and my heart panged, it made me feel like he didn't trust me enough to tell me about what hurt him, 'tell me more about him', I needed to sound interested or else he would know, he would know everything.

Hearing his voice almost made up for the fact that he was talking about him, his face lightly flushed with every praise he gave the stranger I had grown to dislike, every memory bringing a smile to his face 'I'm so glad I got to see him again, we were kids back then, had a lot of things left unsaid for the lack of expression, feels surreal', I forced a smile, does he love you the way you love him?, does he love you the way I love you?. 

'glad you got to see an old friend, sounds like you guys were close', he grinned looking away for a bit, collecting his thoughts, 'I might not see him again but I got what I needed, an answer to a long unanswered question, closure, and believe me-', he stopped for a second to look at me, 'I have the only friend I need right here', the word friend stung like a sword going through my heart, but his soft smile was the cause of the real pain I felt in my chest, everything he did pulled me further to him, I am in love with you to the point where it hurts, I wanted to say, 'always', I said.

When I got to my room, I closed the door and let the bottling tears go, they streamed down my cheeks and I clenched my chest as my heart physically hurt, I sat on my bed and shoved my head into my pillow, I screamed and didn't stop until I had nothing left to let out. 

I was numb as I sat back up, leaning my back against the header, I fiddled with the foreign item now wrapping my finger, I had been wearing it for hours but it still felt cold against my skin, for a few seconds, I fought the urge to just pull it off and toss it as far as I could, but I pushed it down, letting go of my hand and shoving my head back to stare at the ceiling. 

This was my future, and it was stuck to me no matter what, my feelings had no place in it because so many people's feelings were more important, I made an oath to my kingdom and it feels like I've never done anything right before in my life, I was set on making this my first.