Warrior Hearts

Mirror of Reality

As I sit up in bed, for the first time, I am not mentally planning my schedule for the day, or making a check-list of tasks, which I must complete before dusk. Instead, memories from the last couple of days, and especially last night, are creating a cyclone in my thoughts.

You're my goddess. Unknowingly, I find myself smiling at the recollection of Malhotra's words. The world should celebrate you daily. Grinning, I pass my hand over my hair. I've been praised many a times before by the masses, be it for winning a war, or signing a peace treaty, which would prove to be highly advantageous for our kingdom. However, they merely do it because I am the princess of their land, thereby my status leaves them with little to no choice. On the other hand, the ones who genuinely praise me, and speak well of me, do so because I benefit them. By fulfilling my duties as their princess, I am providing them with a constant supply of food, resources, and a land to live in. They, therefore, are gaining something in return. Yesterday, however, when Malhotra praised me, he had nothing to gain in return, and neither was he obliged to do so. Therefore, for the first time someone's praises have left an imprint on me, and I'm treasuring them, by replaying them time and again in my mind.

Father has not once praised me, as far as I can remember. Not when I held off enemies from overtaking our land, and not even when I singehandedly manage our entire land's affairs on a daily basis. Noel, on the other hand, is far too young and caught up in her own life to give such minor gestures a day's thought. However, I am not complaining. I don't perform my duties towards my people as a favour. This is a job that I've been honoured with, and I shall fulfil it to the best of my abilities, regardless of the one-sided nature it bears. However, Malhotra's words did feel good, there's no doubt about it. Regardless of the persona that I portray, at the end of the day, I am human as well. It is my desire to be appreciated and seen for who I am, underneath all my armor. Perhaps that's the suppressed lady in me speaking, or the locked away soul, but it is what it is. Out loud, however, I will never admit to all of this because emotions are synonymous to weaknesses. The second one begins to portray the slightest hint of vulnerability to another, they've exposed their Achilles heel.

"I've got a friend." I say out loud, as if to test the words on my tongue. Grinning, I sit back and marvel over this miracle. "I've got a friend," I repeat, bubbles of excitement erupting within me. This is another first for me. Other than Noel and Father, I've never allowed for anybody to overstep the boundary of formality and form a bond beyond that of an acquaintance with me. However, now I guess with the arrival of Malhotra, it's high time certain things changed around here. Being someone who values control, the mere thought of change revolts me, but not this once. On the contrary, this is a good change; one that I shall welcome with open arms.

Malhotra may be the most frustrating person I've ever come across, and he surely knows how to step on every last nerve that I possess. However, at the same time, yesterday I did come to the realization that he and I share an unsaid understanding between us as well. He sees me for who I really am, unlike what anyone has ever done before. Beyond my title and past the entirety of the facade I put up, Malhotra manages to peek through, and gain access to the veiled parts of me. I most certainly refuse to bare the entirety of myself to him. However, perhaps he is the one traveler, who I shall allow to skim past the outskirts of who I am and gain access to a certain portion of my raw identity.

For some reason, the mere thought of doing so allows me to breathe easier, as if I've lifted a huge boulder off my chest. I feel good.

"Your Grace!" An urgent voice calls from outside my chambers, followed by insistent rapping against my chamber door. Frowning, I stare in the direction of the ruckus. That's Celeste's voice, but why does she sound so panicked?

"Coming!" I yell, as I grab my coat and shrug it on. Once I'm in possession of my knife, I jog over towards the door. One glance at the bolt allows for me to realize as to why Celeste is unable to simply step in, as she always does. After returning to my chambers last night, perhaps I locked the door from the inside, unintentionally of course. Hence, proving that I shouldn't consume alcohol, regardless of the quantity. That vicious drink has the power to wreak havoc in all sorts of ways.

"I'm here, I'm here," I mumble, as I unlock the door and pull it open. A fear-stricken Celeste greets me in return. She's gasping for breath, her chest heaving up and down.

"Good Lord," I mumble, eyes wide at the odd sight in front of me. "Celeste, are you okay?" I ask, stepping aside, so as to allow her access into my chambers. "Let me get you a glass of water."

"Y-Your Grace," Celeste says, latching onto my arm. No member of the palace staff would dare to touch me in this manner, and the fact that my most capable employee has done so, has me on edge.

"What's wrong?" I question, placing my hand on hers. "What's happened?" Without Celeste uttering a word, I now know that something is most certainly awry in this palace.

"Your Grace," Celeste repeats, quite evidently hesitating from revealing the details to me.

"Out with it, Celeste." I command, my grip tightening around the hilt of my dagger.

"I so do apologize, Your Grace." She says, casting her gaze towards her feet. "I-I had gone to the market early in the morning, and so I was unaware of all that - "

"Cut to it," I interrupt Celeste curtly. "Spare me this backstory, and get to the reason as to why you look like you've seen a ghost."

"H-His Highness," Celeste says, causing my breath to catch in my throat. Shaking her hold off from around my arm, I head past her and towards Father's chambers.

Dear Lord, please let him be okay. I silently pray, my feet urging me into speedwalking down the hallway.

"He's left the palace," Celeste calls out from behind me. At once, I halt in my tracks. Pivoting on my heels, I face my lady-in-waiting.

"Are you out of your mind, Celeste?" I ask, refusing to believe what she's just uttered. It's purely nonsensical! For years now, Father has not so much as thought about exiting the very confines of his chambers, much less the palace walls. Shying away from my gaze, Celeste knots her hands together.

"H-His Grace of Naiq has taken His Highness out with him." She says, taking a step back, as if I shall explode at any given second.

"How dare he," I whisper, my hand shaking around the hilt of my weapon. Pure red, that's all I can see at this given moment. What does Malhotra know of the dangers that lurk beyond these palace walls for our family? Especially my father.

"H-His Highness was not feeling well," Celeste continues. "So His Grace of Naiq thought it to be a good idea to take him out, so as to provide him with a change of location. T-The palace staff tried waking you, but you didn't respond to any of their calls from outside your chamber door." Shutting my eyes, I turn the blade of my dagger towards the floor, in fear that I shall stab myself with it. This is all because of last night's slip-up. Had I not relished that wretched wine, I would surely not have overslept, and neither would I be deaf to the calls of everyone. How could I be so foolish!

"I do hope they are accompanied with the best of our men," I say, my tone dangerously low. "The best of the palace guards, I mean."

"Y-Your Grace, t-they've gone alone."

"Malhotra," I growl, hurling the dagger towards the ground. Without a sound, it embeds itself into the space beside my feet; tangible proof of the rage that is coursing through my veins. How can Malhotra be so foolish! If not him, then Father should've surely thought this through. Who in the world ventures out with the King of the land, without an army of guards at their side?

"Do we know where they've gone?" I ask, trying to think of a solution for this mess. Perhaps I can source them out and drag them back here.

"N-No, Your Grace," Celeste's words cause my heart to skip a beat. How in the world could Father even agree to accompany Malhotra all by himself? Does he fail to recognize the dangers of this rendezvous of theirs? For all I know, Malhotra could hold Father captive, or worse...

No. He wouldn't dare do such a thing. Once again, I am shown the mirror of reality. A lady, like myself, cannot afford to loosen my hold, not even for an evening. Look where doing so has brought me. A few goblets of wine and an evening of conversation is all it has taken for me to lose the reins that I once held so tightly in my fists. Regardless of the fact that I may be able to attain all the materialistic luxuries this world has to offer, I simply cannot afford luxuries, such as those of having a friend, or taking out time for myself. My life is solely dedicated to my people, and this kingdom.

"This'll never happen again," I promise myself in a whisper. No more slipping up and getting carried away with distractions, like Malhotra.