Warrior Hearts

Right

"Why?" I croak out. In staunch denial, I feel my head shake itself from right to left. Left to right. I wish I had my armour on in this given moment. Perhaps then I would have been protected from the tips of Malhotra's words; a volley of sentences that are penetrating through my skin. I can feel them diffusing into my bloodstream, a realisation that doesn't please me. Not in the slightest.

"Why now?" I question, splaying my palms out in front of me in a pathetically desperate attempt to attain the answers I desire. "What changed, Malhotra?" By now I'm yelling, injecting every last ounce of energy that I possess in ensuring that my words reach him loud and clear. This isn't a conversation in which we can afford even the smallest of vowels to be misheard.

For a few seconds - the longest ones of my life - Malhotra merely stares back at me, his lips sewn shut. Although my mind is a blizzard of thoughts, the man in front of me seems to be on an altogether different wavelength. If I am the eye of the storm, then Malhotra is the encompassment of the calm before it.

"Today made all the difference," Malhotra replies. I can tell that he took his time in thinking this answer through, formulating it and then breaking it apart, only to piece it back together again. Now he has it ready for me; ready to present me with another set of words which I know will tear apart at whatever little piece of sanity I'm barely holding onto.

"I was worried sick at the mere thought of you exposing yourself to the perils of battle." Malhotra continues to explain. "Especially since I was well aware of what we were facing this time around. Heck, we all could see what an unfair fight it would be; all the odds were against us." Momentarily, Malhotra shuts his eyes, tilting his head upwards. If I had to place a wager, I'd say that he's recalling the events of the battle, and especially thinking about all the lives we lost just so that he and I can stand here, at this given moment, our territory remaining safe and untouched.

"But I knew if I discouraged you from participating in any way possible, you'd pay absolutely no heed to my words." Malhotra's eyelids draw back, his gaze fixating itself on the heavens above. "I guess knowing that even the gods cannot sway your decision once you've decided on a course, I didn't even bother to make the slightest of effort in doing so. I mean to say, who am I - a mundane human - if the deities fall short in front of you, Princess?"

Shrugging, Malhotra returns his gaze to mine. However, regardless of his admittance, I don't see the slightest hint of irritation in his orbs, or any emotion that I would've expected. Tonight, this man's actions and words are singing two polar opposite tunes.

"I'll spare you the details of my tortured mind for the entirety of the battle." Malhotra jokes dryly. His tone is anything but that of mirth. "But after..." Malhotra trails off, his voice cracking. If only he wasn't talking about me, I'd have half a mind to believe he's discussing a topic that greatly pains him. "The thought of losing you," Malhotra continues, "Drove me to the brink of insanity, Princess." I watch as his shoulders rise, his lips sucking in a sharp intake of breath. "Words will not suffice, or do justice to my emotions at that given point of time. If I'm able to find a better means of communication, then I will gladly narrate my end of the story to you one day."

Upon hearing his words, the memory of Malhotra's embrace surfaces in my mind. He may not realise it now, but that was his way of communicating it all to me; his emotions, and thoughts. His relief and joy. His gratitude and torment.

"And that's when I realised, Princess," Malhotra says. Blinking, I watch his lips tug upwards. His eyes are clouded over, almost as if he's in a daze. "That I..." Once again, Malhotra trails off, his thoughts remaining incomplete. "That I don't hate you." This one sentence - once said before, and now again - seems forceful. I cannot help but doubt the truth behind it. For some reason, my instincts are screaming at me that this particular sentence is a blatant lie. The last time Malhotra said these words, and now, too, it seems like he wished to say something else, but then changed his mind mid-thought.

"I...I can't," I stammer, unsure of what it is that I truly wish to put into words.

"You hugged me back, Princess." Malhotra says, his tone matter-of-fact. Instead of outrightly arguing, I begin to shake my head once again. Malhotra was simply holding on too tight which is why I wasn't able to pull away. Lie! The only reason why my arms wound around his body was so that I could push myself away from his front. Lie! Perhaps the reason why I'm unable to voice my thoughts out loud is because they're blatant lies. I know this, and if I were to say them out loud, then Malhotra would too.

"And for now that's enough for me to hold onto," Malhotra confesses. Shrugging helplessly, he begins to make his way toward me. As Malhotra's frame draws closer to mine, I can feel my whole body stiffen in anticipation of what he's planning to do. Unapologetically, my heart picks up a pace that has the power to block out all other sounds from entering my ears. However, instead of stopping in front of me, or anywhere close to my body, Malhotra continues past me. I'm well aware that he deliberately maintained a few feet of distance between our shoulders.

"I'd like to share a certain belief of mine with you, Princess, before I leave." Malhotra says, his voice traveling to me over my shoulder. I want to tell him that I'm unsure if I can handle anymore of his words. After all, my knees are barely holding me upright; my mind devoid of any thoughts, except for the dense fog that has penetrated it. Malhotra's words seem to have not only affected me mentally, but emotionally and physically as well. Most importantly, however, I can't say whether or not I like the effect he's had on me.

"I wish to tell you about fate, Princess." Malhotra continues, completely ignorant to my given state. "It may have brought us together. But wouldn't it be unjust of us to expect it to toil away and do all the work, while we reap its benefits effortlessly?" For a few seconds, Malhotra allows this question to hang in the air between us. Although it seemed rhetorical, perhaps he's expecting an answer from me?

"Fate brought us together," Malhotra repeats his former words. "And now we - I - have to ensure it wasn't misplaced in doing so. We have to work hard in proving it to be right. And you've done enough work to last a lifetime, Princess." This time when Malhotra laughs, I can sense the genuine mirth in his voice. "Rest assured, I'm not treating you like a damsel in distress. I'm just trying to equal to the amount of work you've already put in." Malhotra's words are followed by a low chuckle. "Equality is what you want, after all. Right, Princess?"

Malhotra, however, doesn't wait for my answer. As I stand rooted to my spot, I hear his receding footsteps head back in the direction of the palace.

"Right," I whisper, once I'm well aware that he's no longer within earshot.