Warrior Hearts

Not Everyone's A Winner

This is not me, I chant mentally, as I make my way towards the ballroom, where Malhotra and I will be tying the knot. Nervously, I pass my hand across the front of my dress once again, smoothing out the non-existent creases. Halting with a jerk, I bend down and stare at my reflection in a vase. The lady in front of me, however, is unrecognisable to my own eyes. For the first time in my life, I have covered my lips with strawberry juice, as Noel so often does. At first, I was dubious about the pink tinge, since I've always deemed this shade to be quite striking. However, Celeste and Noel assured me that I don't resemble the court jester, and so I left it on. 

As planned, I am wearing the wedding dress that Malhotra has gifted me. As much as I enjoyed twirling in it in front of the mirror, I cannot help, but feel like a foreigner in this outfit. After all, I have forgotten how it feels to be wrapped in a gown. Truth be told, I fear that one misstep could somehow rip the seam open, and cause it to fall apart. I mean, the material of this dress is by far the most delicate one that I've ever had the good fortune of touching. In fact, even Celeste agrees with me upon this, and if there's anyone in this palace who is well-versed as far as stitching is concerned, it's her. Regardless of the fact, however, that I feel like a foreigner in my own skin, I like this change, and I intend on welcoming it with open arms. Truth be told, the lady in me, who always wanted to dress up and fashion outfits in front of a mirror, is quite satisfied today. If only I had the liberty to behave in this manner on a daily basis...

"Princess, is that you?" Malhotra asks. With a jerk, I turn my neck in the direction of his voice, wincing as pain shoots through it. For some reason, my heart begins to hammer against my chest, as I straighten up and step away from my makeshift mirror. Clearing my throat, I pass my hand over the front of my dress once again.

"I'm sure I don't look that bad," I say. "That you've completely failed to recognise me." Composing myself, I turn to face Malhotra. He's adorning an all-white suit, with a black handkerchief peeping out of his chest pocket. Protruding out in front of the handkerchief is a white rose. On their own volition, my lips turn upwards into a smile. Malhotra's wearing the white rose that I picked out for him. As I lock eyes with Malhotra, I find him staring at me, his mouth parted ever so slightly. Casting my gaze towards the floor, I bite down on my lower lip nervously. As it is, I'm experimenting with this new look of mine, and the way Malhotra is simply staring at me - fixated - is surely not boosting my confidence.

"What's wrong?" I ask, meeting his gaze. "Is it the pink tinge? I know it's a little over the - "

"You're beautiful, Princess." Malhotra breathes out, almost in a whisper. Unblinking, he continues to stare at me. "Good God, you're a sight to behold."

"Really? You mean that?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. As if hypnotised, Malhotra nods his head. "Thank you, Malhotra. You don't look so bad yourself." I comment, nodding towards his suit. Blinking, Malhotra clears his throat.

"Someone had to give you competition, Princess." He teases, grinning. Mirroring the look on his face, I jerk my thumb over my shoulder.

"Now that we're both here," I say. "Shall we head in together?" Glancing over my shoulder towards the ballroom, Malhotra nods his head.

"Let's, Princess." He agrees, making his way towards me.

*****

"Your Highness," Celeste says, as she pushes aside the curtain of the litter. "We will be halting here for a while. The horses need to be fed, and the men need to rest." Sighing in relief, I kick my legs out of the litter, and hop onto the ground. "H-His Highness has requested that you stay seated inside. This place isn't said to be safe." Flicking my wrist dismissively, I cast aside Celeste's words.

"Malhotra should be grateful that I even agreed to traveling in this." I say, turning around to stare distastefully at the litter. Truth be told, my legs are cramped and I absolutely despise how I'm being treated like a fragile doll inside this suffocating box when I'm well capable of riding a horse. Without a doubt, my legs will get sore because of the long journey on a horse. However, I opt for that feeling in comparison to rotting inside this wretched litter.

"There's a lake right across." Celeste says, drawing my attention back towards her. "Would you like to freshen up there, Your Highness?"

"Most certainly." I say hastily, already heading in the direction of the water body. "Alone," I add, as Celeste begins to follow me. At once, she nods her head, halting obligingly. As I make my way towards the lake, I cast my gaze around the open ground. However, my search is futile. Where in the world has Malhotra disappeared off to? The minute after we signed the marriage union papers, he disappeared off into his chambers to pack for the journey. Since then, I haven't gotten the opportunity to so much as glance at his shadow. In fact, when I was saying my goodbyes, I learnt that he had already done so and was waiting for me to join the entourage.

Sighing, I lower myself onto the ground at the edge of the lake. Truth be told, perhaps it's best that Malhotra is lost somewhere, for I'll be able to sort through the storm of thoughts that have been waging a war in my head ever since last night. Perhaps I have been unfair in laying forth my terms to Malhotra, regarding this union of ours. It's no hidden secret that he's doing everything in his power to be more than just a friend to me. Then there's me, drawing the line at a point that seems completely unfair to me, now that I think about it.

At the moment, I can see an imbalance of scales; Malhotra is putting in ten times the effort that I am. In truth, he's fulfilling the roles of both, a friend and Prince Charming, as Rohit said. I, on the other hand, am not so much as trying to budge past the fine line that I drew. Surely, I am not in love with Malhotra, and he knows that as well as I do. However, I could at least try to reciprocate an ounce of what he feels for me.

I've repeatedly told her to put a ring on that one man, who is a friend, alongside being the one who ignites a fire within her. Father's words once again echo within the chaotic confines of my mind. I'd be lying to myself if I said that I can't see Malhotra as more than a friend. Surely, I will have to put in certain efforts from my end, and the transition won't happen overnight. However, after all that he's been doing for me, what's a bit of work on my part? It most definitely won't harm me.

First, however, I must go and confess to Malhotra. He deserves to hear all this out loud.

"I have to tell Malhotra that I'm not completely repulsed at the thought of him." I murmur to myself. Well, at least in better words. Like a woman on a mission, I stand up, patting my palms clean against my sides. Now, where in the world is Malhotra?

"Aren't you going to applaud my victory?" As if on cue, Malhotra's words float into my ears. "Frankly, I'd say that this occasion warrants a ball. You know, Rohit, we should host one, once we're home." Confused, I make my way towards the source of Malhotra's voice. What victory is he talking about?