Warrior Hearts

Musings

With a certain sense of urgency, I shut the door to my chambers. Finally, I have managed to block out all the noise, and commotion of the world. No third party is now drilling their words into my ears. Almost as if I've adorned a horse's blinders, I solely focus my gaze on the balcony, as I make my way towards it.

Mere hours ago, when I had first heard of Malhotra's proposal, I had taken an irretrievable decision. However, after what Father has brought to light, I'm not quite sure if that is the right decision. Heavens bless my old man for unveiling the truth to me, or else I'd have misunderstood Malhotra entirely. At least I now know that he didn't just blindly lay forth his proposal to Father. Clearly, Malhotra has put in great thought as far as this matter is concerned. More importantly, however, he cares for me. Unlike the other selfish suitors, Malhotra has my best interests in mind, and so he told Father not to jump the gun. In truth, I appreciate that. There aren't many people that I've come across, who would act out selflessly. To top it all off, Malhotra had told Father all this before he and I even became friends.

So just imagine what he'd do for you now? A voice in my head asks. The extents he'd go to all for your sake.

I didn't want to give up on the chance to spend more time with you. Malhotra's words echo in my head, as I close my eyes and lean against the railing of the balcony. I'd be lying to myself if I said that spending time with him doesn't make me feel good. Lighter, that's the word for the emotion I feel when I'm with Malhotra. He makes me forget about the responsibilities that I bear, and just for that short while that I'm with him, I'm able to fully breathe in the moments. Malhotra makes me smile more; he makes me happy, both internally and externally. That's besides the point that he doesn't have much competition. I've got nothing and no one to compare him with. However, something tells me that even if I did, Malhotra would win effortlessly. I'm surely not forgetting the fact that he steps on every last nerve that I possess. Regardless, though, I always find myself smiling at the end of the day, as I recollect his smirks and sarcastic comments.

Truth be told, when a while back, Malhotra told me that he'll be leaving tomorrow, I did feel a pinch somewhere in my chest. Without a doubt, I'm aware of just how much I'll miss him. In fact, I'd even started looking forward to meeting him at least once a day, when I'd wrap up all my work and duties. I guess Malhotra gives me company on my one-woman island.

He makes you feel less lonely, my subconscious agrees. I may not have a proper family, but Malhotra surely filled in the void of a friend that I'd been yearning for all my life.

I've repeatedly told her to put a ring on that one man, who is a friend, alongside being the one who ignites a fire within her. I'm unsure about a fire, but Malhotra most definitely does ignite a spark within me; a sensation that no man has had the opportunity to strike up inside of me. Smiling, I shake my head, as I remember that by trying to seduce me, thereby cheating, Malhotra won the duel. However, I didn't just experience this unnamed sensation that day. In fact, time and again, when he's around me - within close proximity - as much as I hate to admit it, I tend to grow weak in the knees. To the dungeons with close proximity, his mere eye contact has the power to sway me.

By being selfish you're compromising with the lives of thousands of people. Sighing, I wrap my arms around myself. All my life, I've done whatever is in my power for this kingdom, and the people who reside in it. So why am I digressing from my aim in life now? Father isn't wrong when he says that peace will return to our lands if I accept Malhotra's proposal. After all, as much as I hate to admit it, the people want a man - a capable ruler - on the throne, and that's exactly what they'll be getting. Whenever I conduct any research into Malhotra's reign, praises are all that shower my ears. He's a good king to his people, and a stellar warrior on the battlefield. In all honesty, I've experienced his swordsmanship firsthand as well. A package deal is all that I can see: a good king, who doesn't shy away behind his ranks at the time of war, and a worthy friend as well. Most importantly, Malhotra is the man who saved my Father's life. If by any chance I do end up agreeing to this marriage proposal, perhaps it could be a way of me repaying that favour. I may not know a lot about emotions, or the future that lies ahead of me. However, what I have read and learnt over the years is that no two people are the same, and one cannot direct the same emotions at more than one person. So what if I never experience what I do with Malhotra for another man? Lord forbid, in my stubbornness - as Father calls it - I could end up losing something potentially good.

I don't have high expectations from my life. Although I've grown up reading fairytales, I don't potentially have faith in them turning into a reality, not the way Noel does. However, I might not be attaining love in this union, but at least there's an understanding between Malhotra and I. Perhaps, that's the best case scenario for my life. On the other hand, maybe this understanding between the two of us could grow into something more.

"That's it for the night," I sigh, turning around. As I near my bed, my eyes land on a package that's sitting in the centre of it. Frowning, I reach forwards and grab it off the sheets. This looks like a present, but from who? No one in this palace has ever gifted me before, much less thought of doing so. Smiling in confusion, I pass my hand over the satin ribbon. With a child-like excitement bubbling in the pit of my stomach, I yank at the ribbon and throw the lid of the box open. A gasp of surprise escapes my lips as my eyes land on a shawl. It's the same one that I touched this evening at the market. As I lift the shawl out of the box to admire it, my eyes land on a note that's tucked in underneath.

"Feel honoured, Princess." I read, as I unfold the note. "You'll be the first and last lady, who I would've ever shopped for on my own. Hope you like it. Simba." At once, my jaw tightens. How dare Malhotra enter my chambers without first seeking my permission?

"P.S," the note continues, as I unfold its bottom. "Stop breathing fire because I entered your chambers in your absence." Just like that, a smile manages to spread itself across my lips. If I have to make the ultimate sacrifice for the people of my land, and wed a king, it may as well be a friend.