The guys are going on stage as Dan and I chill in the lounge area just underneath the venue. Lately all I do is hangout with Dan. Its to the point where if youre looking for me, just look for Dan, and vice versa. If we could be attached at the hip, we would be.
Its nice though. Its nice having someone to hangout with and keep me occupied while everyone else is doing things. Plus it doesnt help that we get along, and we have a ton of sex when he's not busy with the band.
I keep thinking about Mike though. Its been five days since the last time we talked. Its weird not speaking to him.
I didnt expect it to go like this. I've known him for years and I never expected it to be how it is. I didnt see the complicated part. I never expected us to have gotten close either. Maybe thats the problem. Maybe we moved too fast. Maybe we shouldn't have been together at all. Oh well. We ruined it and theres nothing we can do about it now.
"Hey," Dan says suddenly. "I gotta get going, gotta be on the side of the stage."
"Oh, okay, yeah. I'll join you."
We head up to the stage as the guys are finishing their first song. Of course the crowd is going crazy for them. Hell, I don't blame them. The guys are really good.
Their song Dive In starts, and as Mike is waiting for his part, he turns to look at Dan and I. He probably thinks we're rubbing it in, standing on the side of the stage, holding hands. His face changes into a glare but he turns back to concentrate on the set.
"Think he'll hate us forever?" Dan yells over at me.
I nod. "Probably."
After the set we go right to the bus. We leave for Charlotte at 1 and its currently 12:30. Its pretty tiring being on the road. I couldnt imagine playing on stage each night as well. Their energy is unmatched. But then again they do sleep a fuck ton.
The guys decide to drink, of course. I decide it'd be fun to try and outdrink them. I'm a lightweight to begin with so after four shots I'm pretty drunk, but I keep matching them for shots. I think Mike is drinking extra on purpose because by shot number eight, he's looking me right in my eyes and challenging me to match him. I do, and its awful.
"You had enough yet?" Jaime asks in amusement.
"Yeah." I say, putting my shot glass down. "I think maybe I cant outdrink you guys yet."
"Yet?" Tony asks with a laugh. "You cant keep up at all. Its too late, we've perfected this shit."
"God, I think I gotta go lay down." I say, struggling to get up.
I walk to the bunks, ignoring the guys as they make fun of me.
While I'm doing my face routine for the night, I hear someone come up behind me. Its Mike.
"Hey." I say, trying to sound more sober. "Want a makeup wipe?"
He just stares at me.
"No." he says finally. "Row..."
"Yeah?"
Im trying to focus on him but the alcohol is making it hard. Plus my anxiety is kicking into high gear now, having him just stare at me.
"You shouldnt have come on this tour."
Wow. I knew he hated me but I didnt think he hated me that much.
He brings his face in super close to mine, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck.
"You should've stayed away from me. Why did you even let me trust you?"
"Mike." I say as I try and create some distance between us. It doesnt work, he keeps holding on. "Mike, I didn't mean for it to be like this."
He leans in even closer.
"God, you don't even know the half of it." he says.
"So tell me."
He backs up, shaking his head.
"Not that fucking easy." he says, then turns and goes back to where everyone else is.
What the hell does he even mean? His drunk words are lost on my even drunker mind, so I push it aside and find my bunk and then sleep finds me minutes later.
