These Broken Parts

Clouds Can't Laugh

When Connor woke up, he found blood on his blankets. The cut he'd made last night must have broken open at some point. It wasn't much, but it would be very, very bad if his mother saw it... He sighed, pulling the covers over his head. He didn't want to get up, didn't want to go socialize. But he knew Evan would worry, so he forced himself to get up, get ready and go.

He regretted it the second he left the house. He wasn't in the right headspace for this. He didn't know why his brain always had to ruin everything, but he couldn't face Evan right now.

With a heavy heart, he texted and told Evan he was grounded for failing a science test. Evan sent him a broken heart emoji. Connor didn't have the heart to reply, so he just pocketed his phone and slumped to the orchard.

He sat against their tree and smoked two joints back-to-back. It wasn't something he'd done in forever, so it hit him hard. He groaned, putting his head in his hands. He didn't feel well at all...

His phone beeped with a message, but he ignored it, dry heaving into the grass. What the fuck was he tripping for? This was really unusual for him. He leaned back against the tree, taking deep, slow breaths to try to steady himself.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there for, but before long, the mid-March skies turned dark with rain clouds. He frowned up at them, annoyed that they were laughing at him.

Wait.. clouds couldn't laugh. He shook his head again, trying to shake the images away. He rubbed his eyes before looking back up. The clouds looked like normal rain clouds now. Man, this was some trip..

He curled up in a ball and closed his eyes. Maybe he could sleep this off. Maybe sleep would help calm him... He hadn't slept well in so long... He felt exhausted beyond words, mentally and physically.

His phone startled him awake some time later. He shivered, feeling cold and wet. "What the fuck.." he grumbled, sitting up. He looked around, his eyes blurry, to find that it was pouring. He sighed, glaring at the sky. "Yeah, I get it, I'm a piece of shit. Even the weather thinks so.." He stood, putting his hood up, even though it was pretty pointless, since he was already soaked through. He checked his phone. He had a million messages from Evan, and a couple from Zoe and his mom.

He quickly typed out a message to his mom and Zoe:

C: Sorry, was out with Evan. Coming home now

But he ignored Evan's messages. He still felt too out of it to talk to him. Slowly, he trudged home.

~*~*~

"Connor, you're soaking wet!" Cynthia cried when Connor finally got home.

Connor shook off her fussing. "Yeah, started raining while I was walking home," he grumbled, avoiding looking at her in case his eyes were still red. "Gonna go take a hot shower." He slipped upstairs to his room, dumping his bag on the floor.

"Connor!" Zoe hissed, slipping into his room behind him. "Where were you really?"

"What?" Connor asked sharply, glancing at her with an innocent frown. "I told you, I was with-"

"Yeah, no, you weren't. Cause Evan messaged me, asking if you were okay when you didn't answer his million messages."

Connor gritted his teeth. "Go away, Zoe." He slipped his shoes off and walked past her, heading for the bathroom.

"Are you guys fighting?" she asked worriedly, following him.

"No," he said firmly, standing in the bathroom doorway so she couldn't follow him. "Now go away, unless you wanna see me naked." He slammed the door in her face and locked it.