Close to me

Miracles

June 2093

My hands are sweating. There are a lot more kids than I thought there would be. We are in a classroom I have never seen before. We have privacy boards and there are at least 3 teachers. I am really stressed out. They are handing out the tests. They are thick. I count 10 pages, all front and back. I am really nervous. The first pages are pretty easy and I don't have to think too much. But the last 4 pages are pretty hard. I have to write out equations and look at planets and stars. But I am determined. There can only be one person who will move on and it will be me.

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I am back home now, and grandma is here. I completely forgot we were going to look through Avery's stuff today.

"Hey honey! How did the test go?" My mom is the first to talk.

"I think I did very good." I responded.

"Good. I have all my faith in you Erica" my grandma says. I smile.

I go upstairs and put my backpack away. I changed into some comfier clothes too.

"I'm ready to go!" I say. My grandma gets her purse and we walk outside to her car. We mostly talk about the test and how she knows I will make it to district. I am happy she believes in me, but u don't want to get my hopes up too much.

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It felt so unreal when we walked into Avery's room. So dark and cold as if no one had been inside for years. All the life was sucked out of it.

"I have been through most of the stuff, so I'll leave you alone and make some cookies." Grandma said.

"Okay" I meant to smile but I couldn't. I kept looking around and everything I saw brought me back some kind of memory. I looked at some notebooks and every few pages they had something like a skull, or a broken heart or writing like "I hate my life". I saw pictures of her when she played soccer, when she got awards from school and a bunch of pictures of her and I. Then when I was looking through one of the notebooks, I found a full page of writing. It said:

I feel so alone. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. Everyone says they're here for me, but I don't feel anything. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy? I'm a waste of space. Nobody would even care if I killed myself.

"I CARE! AVERY I CARE!" I wanted to scream. If only I had the chance to tell her.

Everyone is so good to me and I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything. I am useless. I am stupid. I'll never make it into dandon.

I was in tears. How could Avery think this about herself? Just then I heard a ding. I turned and saw her laptop screen turn on. I walked over and saw it was an email. It was from Dandon college. I was hesitant when clicking on the email. I couldn't believe the email came right as she talked about it in her letter. It was like a sign.

She got in. She got into Dandon, her dream school. I started crying. I couldn't control it. Her room gave me too many memories. I went to the bathroom to calm down. I wiped off my tears then splashed clean water on my face. I dried it off and took a deep breath before I headed downstairs.

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I was in my room. Again.

Then I saw the envelope on the floor. I wanted to get up and open it but I told myself I wasn't ready. Not yet.