39. ✿❀✧*

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"There's a shooting star! Make a wish!" he said, smiling.
I bit my lip, frowning as I watched him close his eyes, making a wish.

I knew my wish would never come true, so I never had hope. The lower your expectations are, the less disappointed you'll be.

When he opened his eyes, he said, "Did you make your wish?"
I nodded.

One.

"Good. I'm going to get some pillows from my bed and we can stay up here for a bit longer."
"Do you need any help?"
"No, I got it." he smiled.

I watched as he climbed to his window.

If only you knew.

I looked up at the stars, observing as many as I could count.

They remind me of you. No matter how sad I got, you would always be there. Even in the day, the clouds just hid you, but you never really left. You are the sun to my day and the moon to my night. I was only the clouds to your day, and the stars to your night. To you I was only one of your many stars.

"Hey, you alright?" he asked, slowly sitting down next to me.
"Yeah." I said, grabbing a pillow he handed me.

Two.

"Okay. You just looked like you were gonna be sick or something. I just wanted to make sure."
"Yeah, I'm okay." I forced a smile.

Three.

"Okay, good. Anyways, I talked to Bella the other day," he said, smiling. "And she said that she would love to go on a date with. She wants to go on a date with me!"
"Awe, Ruel, I'm so happy for you."

Four.

"I can't wait. Maybe we will be something."
He continued to talk about her, but I slowly zoned out.

Why can't you see that this is hurting me? I've waited so long for you, yet you never understood. I'm tired of pretending and lying to you everyday.

I wanted to tell you that I loved you more than anything. I wanted to tell you that I would give up the world just to be able to call you mine, even if it was just for an hour. But you are my world, and I could never give you up.

I need you more than you'll ever know and I wanted to tell you. I should've told you, but I knew you would never feel the same. I love you, and you love me, but not in the same way. You saved me. You saved me when everyone else gave up on me.

It hurt to hear you talk about how much you liked her. To you she was perfect. You thought you didn't deserve her, but in reality, she didn't deserve you. No one did, especially me. I adore you. I adore everything you are. The way my heart flutters when you smile is beyond my control. You are everything to me, yet to you I'm just another friend.

When I'm with you, I feel lost, yet found. When I'm with you, I feel at home, yet I wonder if I really deserve to be here with you. You would laugh at me if you knew how I felt.

I just wanted to sit up here with you for eternity. I just wanted to be with you. While I knew your heart and mind was with someone else, my heart is where you are. Home is where the heart is.

You're the best thing I'll never have. Even if you're my best friend, you'll never know how I truly feel. Your best friend is all I'll ever be.

"Are you listening to me?" he asked, waving his hands in front of me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about something else." I said, embarrassed.

I pulled a blanket on top of my legs and hugged the pillow he handed me. He laid down next to me, pulling his blanket on top of his body.

"Oh. Do you want to talk about it?"

I wanted to say, "Yes! I do!"

But instead, I said, "No. It's nothing."

Five.

"Are you sure?"
I nodded.

Six.

"Ruel?" I whispered.
"Hm?"
"I know this is weird, but c-can I hold your hand?"

I could feel my cheeks warning up as I looked down at him.

"Yeah." he said softly, reaching out to grab my hand. He intertwined our fingers and I scooted closer to him, laying down. Our bodies were a few centimeters apart and I could feel the warmth radiating from him.

"Can you stay the night?" he whispered.
I nodded.

The moon shined brightly in the midnight sky.

He left go of my hand and pulled me into his chest, intertwining our fingers again, and resting our hands on his stomach.

"Goodnight, Ruel." I said, placing my head on his chest.
"Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you too."

************

Hii

How are you?

I'm actually proud of this chapter, so I hope you guys like it just as much I do!

Also I just updated a few days ago and now I uploaded again!!! (I'm really proud of myself for not leaving for a month and then posting again kdjdj)

Stay safe, ily <3

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