Ascension - Jedi: Fallen Order (Fanfic)

Chapter 8: Mistake

"Is she awake yet?" Cere asked. Her voice was distant and echoing, coming from the direction of the cock-pit. 

"No, I don't think so." Cal's voice came from directly above me. I was wide awake, having been for the past thirty minutes but had chosen not to move. The fear of being questioned kept me from revealing that fact. I shifted to get more comfortable, feeling Cal pull the blanket that was over me up to shoulders, his firm thigh acting as a pillow under my cheek.

The smell of cooked meet wafted from the kitchen, followed by short footsteps and the clatter of a plate on the table a few feet from my head. 

Greez sighed. "Poor kiddo. Let me tell ya, I don't think I want to see something like that again. That must have been hard."

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. "It's only going to get harder, now that Y/n has made herself known. More inquisitors are probably trying to find us," Cal said quietly, "so our adventures are going to get more challenging. I'm sure she'll tell us more when she wakes up."

"Do you really think that," Cere said, "she may be your friend, Cal, but there's still trust to be gained here."

"What are you saying?" Asked Cal. 

"I'm not ready to trust her yet. I don't think Y/n has been entirely truthful."

Cal sighed. "Of course not, she's been through a lot. I understand her hesitancy. Maybe we need to give her time, and right now, we need to find a place to settle down in order to talk about this."

"Cal-"

"Not now, Cere! Please..."

There was a pause, followed by the sound of retreating footsteps away from the two of them. Cal exhaled softly, shifting in his seat. I relaxed, feeling myself begin to drift off again. I guessed there was no point in trying to keep my past a complete mystery. It wasn't going to help anyone, including myself. 

                                                                  *******

The peaceful atmosphere on Bogano was refreshing and spacious. It allowed me to walk and think about what I was prepared to say in the face of questioning. Would it be better in the long run to keep some things a secret, or spill everything thing and have it be over with. Sure, the burden would be lifted ten fold from her shoulders with the second option, but would it be the smartest thing to do?

"Why do you always wander off by yourself?"

"Huh?" I turned, watching Merrin approach. "I've always liked my solitude. It helps me think."

"If that's what you like to do."

We stood side by side, staring at the scenery for a minute or so.

"They are worried about you." Merrin said. "They think you are not being truthful, that you are not telling them to hear and keeping secrets to yourself."

I crossed my arms, digging the toe of my boot into the grass. "Everyone has secrets, Merrin. It's not uncommon to deliberately withhold information from anyone that is private to that person."

Displeasure crept into Merrin's voice. "Secrets are vile. They can harm people, Y/n. I don't want people like you around, because you are dangerous and untrustworthy. A Jedi lived on my planet, power hungry and untrustworthy, and you remind me of him. Perhaps I am wrong, but if you put my friends in danger, I will not hesitate in leaving you behind."

"Whatever you say..." I replied. Merrin walked away, looking back over her shoulder at me as she departed. Giving the girl a short wave, I turned and walked the other way, wanting to explore a little bit, and to be alone where no one would think to bother me. It was only until dark did I make my way back to my ship.