Little Flower -- AVENGERS

17. restraints

OKAY: So this is a big trigger warning, I planned out Mila's backstory previously to writing this book and while still being stuck with HYDRA and before she received her sterilisation, she was sexually assaulted by one of the boys who she trained with. I'm about to recount that but I do understand that a lot of people won't feel comfortable so to make sure I don't cross any lines, I'll keep it fairly non-descriptive. Please don't hesitate to tell me if something's too much - that way I can change it, re-upload and make sure no other reader feels triggered or really uncomfortable.

I hope this is all alright with you guys, don't forget we have a vast and friendly community and if you need to talk to anyone, don't hesitate to private message me and I'll try to help in any way that I can or even if you just need some words of encouragement. I also hope everyone is doing okay with the current situation and I really hope this all ends soon.

Stay safe xx
~ Starset_Waffle

Wednesday 6th April - 2011 - 2209
Bolshevik Island, Russia

Mila couldn't get the feeling out of her head - her hands repeatedly scratching up and down her bruised arms and legs where he'd held her down. The boy with the hazel eyes and the short black hair, who smiled at her every day for the past seven years, who was 2 years older than she was yet just as skilled.

Mila cried softly, pulling at her hair when she wasn't trying to muffle her cries with her hands. She could still feel how he had tied her hands above her head and clutched her throat with his cold hands. How did he even get into the girls changing rooms without the soldiers seeing?

The boy who hadn't ever talked to her before thought it would be funny to steal her clothes and hide then under his shirt until she begged for him - him not for him to give her her clothes back, standing in nothing but her underwear he could see all her scars and yet still chose her. Why her? Mila shook her head and covered her mouth with her hands. her wrists still hurt and she could hear the boys faint laugher in her ears.

Mila could still feel the cold concrete beneath her back, the boys' belt strapped tightly around her wrists and him admiring her maturing form. She wanted to throw up, to rip off her skin and strangle the boy with it.

Was it better that it was her instead of a younger girl? Was she chosen so he wouldn't touch any of the other girls? How many girls had he done this to? Mila couldn't stop thinking about it, no matter how many times she tried distracting herself with going over her foreign languages, no matter how many times she thought about wanting to talk to Sebastian who still hasn't returned and her head still felt empty.

Mila looked down at the bed beneath her feet and reached out to touch it. She was here and not back there - she needed to be strong, she needed to be strong.