21 Questions (Ryden)

Quest- Wait... Yeah Question 12 - R

Ryan: hey B

Read 11:08pm

Brendon: oh you've returned

Ryan: lol yeah

Brendon: not embarrassed about what your teammates texted me anymore?

Ryan: you know it's not your turn to ask a question

Brendon: lol my bad go then

Ryan: what's your worst fear?

Brendon: damn getting deep

Ryan: you don't have to answer you can still skip

Brendon: nah it's fine it's a simple answer anyway

Brendon: spiders

Ryan: really?

Brendon: mmhm those things are creepy

Ryan: why do I have a feeling you're lying?

Brendon: probably because we've been texting to the point you can detect my lies

Ryan: do you not want to tell me what your worst fear is?

Brendon: it's just stupid that's all

Ryan: I won't think it's stupid

Brendon: probably not but my mind will tell me that you think it's stupid

Ryan: so listen to me and not your mind I'll tell you the truth

Brendon: okay...

Brendon: my worst fear is that I don't belong and I'm not wanted

Ryan: what do you mean

Brendon: I'm scared that there'll never be a place for me, that any friend I make will one day decide they don't want to be around me anymore or that my parents will want to give me back because they realize that I'm no good

Ryan: Brendon..

Brendon: I know you'll tell me something like it's not true and that people want me around and I know my parents love me they would've sent me away already if they didn't I know that

Brendon: I know it's irrational I just can't shake the feeling that I am unwanted because I'm me

Ryan: why would you feel that way has anyone done anything to make you feel like this?

Brendon: ...

Ryan: oh.. right...

Brendon: I knew they didn't want me so I told myself just be ready to be unwanted for the rest of your life then when someone said they wanted me... I'm just scared they'll change their minds

Ryan: I'm sorry B

Brendon: it's okay it's a good thing I'm scared though in a way I guess..

Ryan: how come?

Brendon: if you're scared that means you have something to lose

Ryan: yeah that's true but doesn't mean you should be hurting yourself mentally like that

Brendon: I know it's just that when you've spent such a long time thinking so badly it's hard to break out of that mindset

Brendon: some people don't understand that you can't just shut off the negative thoughts after years of having them just because things get better there's always that fear that you'll go back to the way it was before and you want to be prepared for it

Ryan: your parents want you and me too I can't promise forever because things change but I can promise that as of right now I want you here so you don't have to worry about someone not wanting you and if you ever need any reassurance I'll gladly say that I want you over and over again

Brendon: thanks Ry

Ryan: no problem

Ryan: wanna keep playing? I understand if you don't after that question

Brendon: no I think I'll go to sleep for the night

Ryan: alright I'm here if you want someone to talk to

Brendon: thanks night

Ryan: sweet dreams

Read 11:22pm