BTS x Male 8th Member

Telling #2

Fear. That's the only emotion I felt as me and Yoongi stood outside of the dorm door. I unconsciously dug my fingernails into my hand as we waited for one of the other members to open the door for us to come in. Yoongi had forgotten his keys and I had not received a dorm key as of yet. Each of the members had their own key and there were two spare. I gathered one would be mine and one was for emergencies aka Namjoon breaking his key. I chuckled as an image of namjoons reaction to breaking his door key entered my thoughts. As I thought of the god of destruction my feelings of fear started to lessen.

Finally after what felt like hours. Eumma Jin-hyung opened the door with a worried face. As soon as he caught sight of me he immediately grabbed onto me and slammed the door closed leaving poor yoonie-hyung outside. I quickly made noises of protest and I tried to tell him that he just slammed the door on Yoongi-hyungs face. Luckily Jimin who was by the door noticed and quickly reopened the front door while apologies flew from his mouth ever five seconds. Yoongi-hyung just shook him off and sat on his favourite black chair in the corner of the dorm room away from the chaos happening in the middle of the room. Hoseok-hyung, Kookie-hyungie, TaeTae-hyungie and Jiminnie-hyungie were now what looked like arm wrestling in the middle of the room.
Jin-hyungie quickly drew my attention away from what's happening by throwing tons of questions in my face.

I drew a deep breath in before loudly telling everyone I had something to say. Silence is what greeted me in return.
"I feel as the new member of Bangtan it's my duty to tell you about myself. Even things that I'm not proud of or tough things that I've been through or I'm going through. I feel that in order to gain trust then I've got to trust you too. So I'm going to share with you my past but before I did that. I had to tell my parents first. Now I didn't tell my parents everything as what I have to say would shock them too much and I know how my mother is.... She would feel responsible and I don't want her to feel that way"I said looking around the room at each member's facial expressions. They all had a calm and ready face. I took that as a sign to keep talking. "Now, in order for this to make sense I have to start at the beginning. My parents and I were on rocky terms. Not so much that it was unbearable in the house. It was more I was unbearable.." I pause to giggle thinking of the horrors I put my parents through. Like when I put hair removal in my dad's shampoo. He didn't talk to me for two weeks and wore a wig. I giggle again at the memory. "I was a pain in my parents ass but before you think it no. That's not why they sent me away. My father had a business trip abroad and me being the difficult child I was. Told him I didn't want to go to his stupid business trip and he could shove that trip up his ass. Hmm I wasn't very umm nice about the idea. So my parents decided to send me to my uncles. Since I was too young to stay home by myself. I was only 15 at the time. Living with my uncle was okay for the first week but as it got to the second. I noticed he had a drinking problem. At first I was scared to speak to him about it but I'm generally a blunt person so it kind of just came up during a casual conversation. After the conversation my uncle started to aim his anger towards me. At first it was just drunken name calling but then Uncle Mika started to beat me. When he was sober he would treat my wounds and apologize profusely but then he did something worse then the beatings. When my uncle was sober... He..umm..he raped me. And I know you may not believe me but I have the scars to prove it" I paused to take my shirt off. The boys faces changed from a neutral expression to that of immense anger. I quickly continued my story before they could voice their anger. "My parents now know of this but what they don't know is. My uncle wasn't the only one. After my uncle raped me. He started to bring his friends to the house and they would join in on the beatings and one day on of his friends said I looked 'fuckable' so my uncle said how much will you pay me for him? After that my uncle started whoring me out. I'd scream and beg but none of them stopped. It wasnt until my parents came to get me after their business trip ended that all of this stopped. It's been two years now and after the incident. I have struggled with anxiety, depression and an eating disorder. I am medicated. Which is why I have my little blue bag. Which is what Kookie-hyungie saw and I promised I would tell him what it was for and that is my story" I said sitting down to indicate I had finished. One my one the members stood up and brought me into a Bangtan hug. Even yoonie-hyung joined in and he rarely shows affection. Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok hyung were all gently crying while Seokjin and Joon-hyung were basically full on sobbing.
I felt a wave of safeness overcome me as I was in their arms. A smile grazing my lips as I thought about how amazing and genuine these kind souls are and I couldn't be more excited then I was to start my life with them. These boys aren't just kind infront of the camera. They are genuinely caring. I couldn't be more thankful to them then I am in this moment for their acceptance.

Thank you bangtan. I can't wait to be an eighth member.