BTS x Male 8th Member

Notebook

It's been a week since I told them. Since I've seen my parents last. Since I came out of the dorm. I've been spending my time in the studio practicing dances and creating my own for songs that I've created. Not that they will be used in any of our albums but I genuinely love to create music and if the guys think it's good enough to use in our album then so be it. I haven't actually told them about making these songs or the dances. I've thought of a part for all of the memebers keeping in mind their strong points and weak points. This past week I've been paying attention to these points to use them in the dances. I do not wish to create a routine that the members will struggle with. That's not my intention.

A whine noise escapes my lips as I lean back on my chair cracking my back in the process. I place the pen down my the notepad as I stare at the words that flowed across the page. The words were written in English since I felt more comfortable writing in English although I felt more comfortable speaking in Korean and French yes you heard that right. I speak fluent French. My grandmother on my mother's side is married to a french man (my grandpapi) who taught me french. He would only speak to me in his native tongue. I picked it up pretty quickly since I was only 2 years old at the time. I smile thinking of Grandmama and Grandpapi. My father's grandparents were lovely until I came out as gay. They still talk to me but it hasn't ever been the same. They love me since I'm their Grandchild but they don't support me for who I am. I don't force them too if that's how they feel unfortunately that's how they feel. I wish they did support me but at least they don't curse me out or throw Bible verses at me like Uncle did (I shouldn't even call him that. He's more of an IT then an Uncle)

Moving out of the depressing thoughts my mind decided to turn to. I decided to show either Yoongi-hyung or Namjoon-hyung my work or maybe even both of them. I needed a beat for the lyrics and I also needed some critique as well. If there are flaws I'd like them sorted out.
The words written on this page mean a lot to me and yes they do have a lot of hidden meanings but it shouldn't take a major genius to work them out. I love writing lyrics with multiple meanings it gives off a sense of mystery as well as telling a story. I've always loved to read and I wanted to sort of portray that through my music. If that makes any sense at all. I giggle softly at this thought before riding from my chair gathering my notebook and pen at the same time. Heading towards wherever the members may be in search of either Yoongi-hyung or Namjoon-hyung.

I hum to myself softly making up random noises in the tune of the words that are hidden inside the notebook. The notebook I'm clutching to my chest like it's suddenly going to grow legs and run away. A giggle escapes my lips again as I picture a small red book with silver writing on the cover growing legs and running away. It's silly to think about but my notebook means a lot to me. My notebook was a gift from the members to me. A sort of welcome gift. A smile tickles my lips as the memory of that day comes to mind.

...................Day 5.................................

I'd been a Bangtan member for 5 days now and I was officially being introduced in another 5. The memebers all wanted to me create my own song before I was officially introduced in a Vlive. They said that it would make us all feel more connected and it would also give them a sense of understanding of my style. Which I agree 100% on. Now that I think about it they haven't even heard be song before.
Oooooh I guess it will be like a surprise! Yes that's it! I'll surprise them with a song. I know that I'm nothing compared to them but I hope that I can at least be somewhat good and make a good impression.
Hmm oh! I can even add in a dance! That would be amazing and I bet Seokie-hyung would love that!
I'd like my song to have a lot of meaning behind it.
I give an over exagerated sigh as I try to wrack my brain of possible titles, words and story's to put into a song. Nothing came to mind.

As I was thinking a knock on my door was heard. Making me make a squeal noise. The person on the other side must have heard the noise because they let out a window wiping laugh. A massive smile broke out onto my face as I realised who it was.
"JINNIE-Hyungie! Come in!" I shouted happiness clear in my tone.
The door opened and the world wide handsome man himself entered my room. He was carrying a small item covered in....Christmas paper.....we are in April....... "Hyungie? Why have you got a Christmas present in April?" I asked instead of happiness my tone had changed to confusion.
Jin chuckled loudly. "it's not a Christmas present but it is a present" he said handing me the present. I immediately teared up as I realised it was for me. I looked down at the carefully wrapped item with nothing but gratefulness. I looked back up at Jin smiling happily.
"Thank you" I said.
Jin chuckled out "You haven't even opened it and your already thanking me!" I giggled at him before taking his advice and opening the carefully wrapped present. Inside was a little red notebook. On the cover of the notebook it said the words "To new futures" in silver fancy lettering. I understood the hidden meaning immediately. The words meaning our new future as a group these words were them excepting me as a new member. These words were my reassurance that no matter what ARMYs reaction was to me that they would be here to back me up. The thought instantly made me sob. I threw myself at Jin who held me tight as I sobbed into his broad shoulder. I felt bad that I was getting his t-shirt wet but I also didn't care. I was so grateful and couldn't ask for better people to start my new chapter in life with.
............................................

I smiled as the memory faded taking one last look at the words I'd written in my notebook. The first page of my notebook. The notebook that holds my new future.

The first word of the page was the word

Someone.