Rounded Love

Feels

Xiao Chen trembled as Lu Feng moved towards the bed, his body rippling with fear and eyes flooded with terror and joy warring with each other. Lu Feng, as he did with everything, was calm, collected, and unhurried. He took off his slippers, pulled on socks, took off his jacket, and began to change into pajamas. Xiao Chen knew that this had to be a ploy. It just had to! Why else would Lu Feng wait until the moment before he was about to sleep before walking in through the door. Xiao Chen was certain that there were plenty of cameras and monitors recording every inch of the house. 

He wanted to say something, but before he could his eyes were trapped, and held captive on the figure that was his ex lover. It scared him somewhat. Realizing that Lu Feng still managed to hold such an effect over him, even with his cruel and dark nature. Lu Feng was scared, he was nervous, and the terror he felt was more than just over Lu Feng, he was scared of himself. Scared of how, when Lu Feng pulled his shirt off to replace it with a pajama shirt, he could not stop his eyes from trailing down the other's back, and across his torso, admiring his arms. Hated how his eyes were glued to Lu Feng as the other changed right in front of him without any care. Xiao Chen hated himself more in that moment than he had ever hated Lu Feng. He hated that he was still affected by Lu Feng, hated how he still found the other unbearably attractive. As though he were sculpted by the gods and sent to the earth to learn among humans. He hated how he could not rip his eyes away from Lu Feng. Hated how he could not help but be entranced by the other and held captive. 

There was nothing that he could do about that, but he felt nervous, fear instantly crashing through his body as Lu Feng turned towards him again. Xiao Chen quickly looked away, not daring to look back at him, staring blankly at the other wall, head turned away from Lu Feng. Away from he plague of his nightmares and memories. He heard the other chuckle, his deep voice carrying easily through the room. He heard the footsteps, heard as Lu Feng calmly made his way around the bed, and towards Xiao Chen, who instantly stared at the top of the ceiling, not wanting to risk making eye contact with the monster besides him. There was a saying, one which Xiao Chen knew well. Every monster wears an angel's face. It was true also, otherwise how could they possible trick and deceive anyone? How could they manipulate them so easily, if they did not look sweet and handsome, if they were not charming beyond belief. If they did not play to the stereotype that all evil was ugly and disgusting and one could sense it from miles away, rather than evil being one which soothed you, luring you in deeper and deeper until it was too late.

Xiao Chen had to remember that. He had to, he could not allow himself to be caught up in the trap once again. He had suffered too much for that, had gone through too much. He could not allow the beauty of Lu Feng to disarm him once more.

Though it was already too late for that. He had already been lured, had already been disarmed and though his rational brain was still functioning it was slowly becoming more and more quiet, the more time he spent within Lu Feng's grasp. It scared Xiao Chen. It scared him as it had scarcely been a day and yet he felt himself slipping so deep so fast and reversing back. It was terribly frightening. He did not want to. he did not want to do such things, yet what could he do?

Lu Feng hummed softly, as though he were idly thinking about something.

"What is this?" He wondered sarcastically. Xiao Chen's hands trembled under the blankets where he kept them hidden, refusing to look at Lu Feng. "Are you ashamed?" Lu Feng asked softly, bending over Xiao Chen, forcing the other to look into his eyes as his face replaced the view of the ceiling. Xiao Chen turned his head.

Or rather Xiao Chen tried to turn his head, because Lu Feng was not one to play this little look away and hide game, not when he wanted to see all of the emotions rising in Xiao Chen's eyes. He wanted to see the hate towards everything and yet the lust and fear and shame. His hand gripped the other, pressing into the pressure points around the top of the neck, on either side of the jaw. Lightly, not enough to restrict his breathing, not enough to hurt, but enough to force Xiao Chen's head up to look at him if he did not want to suffocate. Lu Feng smirked, joy lighting on his features as he finally got a look at Xiao Chen's eyes.

It had all that he had guessed and more. It had his hatred, towards himself and towards Lu Feng, it had the fear of Lu Feng running rampant through those orbs, and the shame which he felt over the lust he had from Lu Feng's body. There was also faint traces of sadness and pain. Lu Feng hummed as he quickly climbed over the bed, trapping Xiao Chen's body underneath his, hand still holding onto the neck, warning flaring in his eyes as the youth tried to move away. It was with that warning which caused Xiao Chen's entire body to freeze, stilling instantly. 

"It is nothing to be ashamed of, little petal." The voice Lu Feng used was soft and sweet, soothing as he used his other hand to gently caress down the other's arm, hidden by the blanket yes, but the touch still strong enough for the younger to feel. "Your body was made for me, of course you would feel such desire when you glance upon it." His tone was gentle, caring. 

No matter how many times Xiao Chen told himself not to fall for it, not to give in, not to...He felt himself relax, his body doing the opposite of what his mind told him, and the anger he had when he realized such things. Water began to fill his eyes, and fall down his face. Lu Feng clicked his tongue silently, gritting his teeth, but softly brushed away the tears.

"It is alright, Xiao Chen," Lu Feng said calmly. Xiao Chen felt fear build rapidly through his body, unable to speak, even if the grip Lu Feng held on his throat was not tight enough to stop words, as he felt Lu Feng's body drop over his. "Ahhh, I see..." He said, contemplative and a little bit amused. "You have nothing to fear. Do not worry." Lu Feng said, voice chiding. "I shall not take you tonight." He turned them over so that they were resting on their sides, Lu Feng wrapping his leg over the younger's, trapping them in between Lu Feng's thighs, and his arms coming around Xiao Chen, pulling him into his chest, effectively restricting all movement which Xiao Chen may try to may just to free himself from his ex lover. "Not tonight." His whispered against Xiao Chen's ear, the breath cascading over his ear and down his neck, shudders taking over the younger's body at the feeling of it. "For now, rest." He said simply.

Xiao Chen felt unbalanced. Why did he have such emotions over his ex lover? Why did he feel sad when Lu Feng said he would not couple with him? But relieved as well? Why did he feel the age old lust and desire course through his body when he looked at Lu Feng as he changed, and why did he relax despite the monster holding himself over him? Why?

Xiao Chen could not understand his feelings, he could not understand what was going on, and he was more terrified than anything else. Unaware of Lu Feng awake behind him, unable to move from the other's grip on his body, he slowly fell asleep, tears falling down his eyes.