Maddie's Episodes

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Maddie spent the next few hours sat with Platt at the front desk, often with a small smile on her face as Platt messed a few of her patrol officers.

"Hey, Jay never mentioned you were gonna stop by." Atwater said as Maddie hugged Rojas as soon as they entered the precinct.

"He doesn't know I'm here." Maddie said. "Can I go up now?" Maddie asked Platt.

"Go on." Platt replied, nodding to Rojas who took the teen upstairs. "Kevin, keep an eye on her." Platt said.

"I will." Atwater said, understanding something was wrong as he followed Rojas and Maddie up to Intelligence.

"Is there anything you guys need doing?" Maddie asked as she sat at what had now become her desk.

"I think we're good." Atwater said, checking with Rojas who nodded. "Yeah, we're good, but I'll let you know as soon as anything comes in."

"Okay." Maddie said, getting her laptop out anyway and just staring at the blank screen, the image of the guy's blood on her hands not leaving her mind. 

Atwater noticed Maddie's thumb rapidly tapping on the edge of the desk and it only took a few minutes before she pushed her chair back and ran out of the bullpen, towards the interrogation rooms, tears running down her face.

Rojas jumped at the sudden noise but instantly moved to follow Maddie but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Give her a minute." Atwater said knowingly. 

"Normally someone goes straight after her?" Rojas asked, she had witnessed a couple of Maddie's episodes and was confused as to why this one was different especially as Rojas had been the person who calmed her down last time.

"This one's different, she's not had one this bad since Antonio left." Atwater said. 

"How's it different?" Rojas asked.

"She was fidgety, normally she freezes and then breaks down." Atwater explained. "I know you two are close but these can get ugly." Atwater said a few minutes later.

"Go." Rojas said with a nod.

"Let Jay know when he gets here." Atwater said, heading in the same direction that Maddie had gone in.

"I will." Rojas said.

Atwater checked every room he passed, the locker room, both interrogation rooms and the viewing room but she wasn't there. He headed down the stairs and towards Mouse's old office having a feeling she would go there as Jay had mentioned it used to be her brother's office once and she would probably feel safe there.

The sight that he saw once he opened the door broke his heart.

Maddie was curled up in a ball, holding her knees to her chest in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth. Her eyes were glazed over and she had tears rolling down her cheeks and Atwater could tell she was deep when she shrank further into the corner as the door opened.

"Mads." Atwater said, slowly entering the room and shutting the door behind him.

"I won't do it again, I promise." Maddie said, her voice quiet and shaky, her gaze not leaving the floor a few feet in front of her.

Maddie's chest was tight and she felt like someone was suffocating her. She could feel her hands shaking and attempted to stop them by holding her knees even tighter, she couldn't show fear, that would make the punishment worse.

"Maddie, look at me, it's me, Kev." He said, taking a few more steps towards her.

"No, no, no." Maddie muttered as she viciously rubbed at her eyes, trying to get the picture of the guy from the bus out of her head but every time she got rid of it she would see Jay unconscious in the car next to her and that was worse.

"Maddie, I'm going to sit next to you okay?" Atwater asked as he took a few more steps towards her.

"No, don't touch me, please." Maddie pleaded, her vision was so distorted she couldn't see who was talking to her but she was so scared, her brain automatically assumed it was a threat.

"Mads, I'm not gonna hurt you, I just want to help." Atwater said as he slowly slid down the wall, making sure he didn't touch her. "Look at me Minnie, it's me." Atwater said, hoping the nickname would catch her attention as it was something him and Adam had started calling her. "Let me help." 

That was when Maddie broke down completely, her small body shaking with each sob. 

"Sshh." Atwater said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly to his chest. "I've got you, you're safe." He said, gently rocking back and forth.

He sat like this for almost ten minutes, just letting her cry it all out. Once she had calmed down slightly he noticed how ragged her breathing was.

"Maddie, you need to breathe okay? Slow and steady." He said, exaggerating his own breathing and Maddie slowly started taking larger more regular breaths. "There you go." He said, running a hand through her hair.

"Thank you." Maddie said, pulling away from Atwater slightly so she could look into his eyes to show him she meant it.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Kev asked.

"No." Maddie said definitely.

"You need to talk to someone." He said.

"I'll talk to Jay." Maddie said.

"You promise?" Atwater asked, seeing Jay stood at the door.

"Yeah." Maddie said, also seeing Jay, jumping to her feet and running over to him.

"Thank you." Jay mouthed over Maddie's head as she held onto him. Atwater shared a sad smile with him before placing a hand on Jay's shoulder and leaving the two to talk. "You want to talk about it?" Jay asked, Maddie nodded her head. "Hey Kev!" He called as Atwater started going back up the stairs. "Tell Voight I've had to head out but I've got my phone on." Atwater nodded before going back up the stairs. "Come on then, let's go get you a milkshake." Jay said, leading her out and into his car.

"Is she okay?" Rojas asked as soon as she saw Atwater.

"She will be." He said, noticing all eyes were on him as everyone had come back. "It was a rough one but Jay's taken her out to talk but he's still got his phone on him." He said, directing the last bit to Voight who was stood in his doorway listening.

"Someone let him know he can have the rest of the day off, Trudy explained what happened to me." Voight said.

"What did happen?" Atwater asked.

"She saved someone's life." Voight said before closing his office door.


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