Broken [Completed]

Home

Flashback

I read Sam's note and quickly pack some clothes and other essentials, wanting to be able to leave before they get back. I debate on leaving a note for them and I quickly scribble something down.

Flashback over

I get on the highway and begin my drive to Kansas. I turn on the radio to drown out my thoughts. I make it out of California before I start to get tired. I pull into the first hotel that I see off the highway. I get a room for one night and bring my bag in. I plug my phone in and lay down on the bed. I turn on the television as my phone blows up. I turn it on silent and fall asleep to the show. I wake up around nine and get around the road again. I continue to drive until I get tired, stopping at a hotel when I need to. I ignore all my texts and calls expect for calls from my family. Sam, Jake, and Corey have all been texting and calling me, but I don't respond. When I am almost home, I pull over and call my mom.

"Hey sweetie," she says.

"Hey, mom. I'm almost home," I say.

"Great. Drive safe," she says. I hang up and continue to drive home.

I arrive home twenty minutes later to see my mom waiting outside for me. I pull into the driveway and parked my car. I get out and run into her arms. She hugs me and leads me into the house. When we get inside, I sit down at the table while she makes food for me. She fills me in on the family and my friends still in Kansas while she cooks. I am finally home. This is a place where I can figure things out. My mom finishes cooking and gives me a plate of food. I eat as she continues to talk. After I finish, I tell her that I am going to take a nap because I'm tired from the drive. She hugs me and I head up to my childhood room.

It's seems frozen in time. I collapse on the bed and take out my phone. I create a group with Sam, Corey, and Jake.

Colby: Hey. I just wanted to say that I'm safely home in Kansas.

Corey: Colby, what is going on?

Jake: dude, call us back!

Sam: Colby, please call me.

I lock my phone, put it on silent, and fall asleep.

"Colby, dinner's ready. Your brother and dad are home."

"Okay, I'll be right down."

I get out of bed and go downstairs. My dad fills me in on his work then my brother talks about school. My mom made my favorite meal.

My dad looks at me and says, "It's good to have you home Colby."

Gage comes over to me and hugs me, "I missed you, bro."

I hug him back, "I missed you too little bro."

He sits back down and we continue eating dinner. My parents talk about their days and I listen with a smile on my face. Something about Kansas always resets things for me. After dinner, we settle into the family room to watch a movie. I sit next to Gage with my arm around him. I know they can see that I'm not totally okay but they don't press me. It's nice knowing that they won't push me to talk, that they know I will talk when I'm ready. The next day, my dad heads to work and Gage goes to school. My mom makes breakfast for me then heads out to see her friends.

I go up to my room. Last night I decided to make a video for youtube to announce that I will be taking a break from youtube and social media.

I set up my camera and hit record.

"Hey, guys. First off, I'm sorry for not posting for a while. I've been going through some personal stuff. As you can see, this is not my usual setup. I'm at home in Kansas for the time being. I don't really want to go into detail on social media, but I need to take some time for my mental health and to figure things out."

I take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry everyone. But I need to take a break from youtube and social media for a while. I hope you all understand."

I turn off the camera and post the video without editing it.

I close my laptop and then my phone rings.

It's Nate. I answer it.

"Hey Nate," I say.

"Hey man. I saw your video that you're back in Kansas."

"Yeah, I am," I say.

"I'm here too. Do you want to meet up? Maybe go to the warehouse?"

"Sure, I'll be there in fifteen."

"Cool man. See you soon."

He hangs up and I grab what I need for the warehouse. I write a quick note for my mom, letting her know that I'm with Nate. I drive to the field near the warehouse and see Nate waiting for me. I walk to him and we hug. We're silent as we walk to the warehouse. It's nice, no cameras, just two old friends hanging out. We get to the warehouse and climb to the roof. We both sit down and Nate turns to me.

"So, is Sam here too?"

My heart skips a beat at the mention of his name and I shake my head. "No, it's just me."

"Did something happen with you two?"

"Yes."

Over the next twenty minutes, I fill him in on everything that has happened. When I finish, he just stares at me for a few seconds.

"Wow," he says.

I sigh, "I know. It's a mess. I'm a mess."

"So, let me get this straight. You and Sam were dating. You fought and broke up. You became friends again but you both still loved each other. You told him that you want to be together again and he didn't answer?"

I nod. "Yeah, that's what happened."

"Has he tried to talk to you since you left? Have you talked to him?"

"He's called and texted. I texted him and my roommates when I got home to let them know that I got home safely. But I haven't actually talked to him. They texted me back, asking me to call them but I didn't."

"Can I ask why?"

I look down, "I don't know Nate. I just can't face them right now. I can't face any of it. I'm just so messed up and broken. I feel like I need to find myself again."

"That makes sense. Maybe being home will help you to find yourself. It helped me a few years ago."

I turn to look out over the woods, "I hope so. I feel like I can't be the person I need to be for my roommates and for Sam."

"My advice: be the person you need to be for yourself. Then the rest will figure itself out," he says.

"Thanks, Nate," I say, hugging him and he returns the hug.

We spend the rest of the afternoon joking around and exploring the warehouse just like old times. Around dinnertime, we part ways. He tells me to call if I need anything and I nod, hugging him. I get into my car and drive back home. My parents are waiting for me, dinner on the table. We sit down to eat as my family talks about their days. Over the next few days, I settle into a routine. I spend time with my mom in the morning and Nate in the afternoon. Nate and I visit our old haunts together, exploring and joking around. We talk a bit more about my situation and I feel myself starting to heal. When Nate is busy, I sit at the warehouse, thinking. I feel like I am finding myself again and that everything is being reset. I decide to spend the next two months in Kansas, trying to become the person I need to be. I text the group chat I created.

Colby: Hey. I just wanted to give you an update. I decided to stay in Kansas for at least the next two months. I'm okay.