Just Friends | ✓

prologue

He woke up to a headache. Their fight affects him the most. The beast in him awakens when he's angry . So very frustrating.

And now , he regret what he said to her in the blind fit of rage. She gets on his nerve sometimes. How is he to put a stop to her mind that wanders more often than the number of stars in the sky. she wasn't wrong this time.

Fuck, he knew it too.

But the great Sidharth Shukla in the last 39 years of his life hadn't learnt how to say sorry properly.

He stood up, longing for a bath and he saw that a couple of pages were pressed under a book that he was currently reading.

He picked them up and began reading, and to say that he fell back with a thud would be an understatement.

Sidharth,
Bahot zaada bol gyi na Mai Kal? Kya karu dimaag Kam Jo h. Ab mereko na zaada Hindi aati h na angreji to dekh leyi koi gadbad ho to. Google translate Kia h aage ka Punjabi se.

When I entered bigg boss, I never knew I would receive so much of love and adoration from people. It is so overwhelming sometimes. Show k baad kuchh Bahar lekr aayi hu to wo tu hai. And it scares me that I love you so much. So much that it hurts and scares the life out of me.

I am afraid I might lose you , you're too good to be true.

My insecurities are loud Sidharth . I don't know how to cage them in. I wasn't ever taught that. Shayad maa baap k saath bachpan me rehti to seekh jaati . But nhi seekh paayi isiliye bol deti hu. This is what happened yesterday. I just wanted to hear it from you that you love me , if only for the sake of speaking it . But you didn't and now ? I am so glad you did not.

Bewakoof hu, pagal hu. Jo Tere care ko pyaar smjh baithi. And expected you to feel the same for me. I know I am ridiculous sometimes. Okay well, most of the times. But Sidharth after the fall out I realised a lot of things.

It is not okay for me to hang on to stupid hopes, it is childish to built castles in air and wish for you to love me back. When you clearly don't have anything apart from here affection.

I realised , you deserve someone who would understand you and not think of herself all the time. You need someone unlike me.

But more than that , I realised I don't deserve to be called a 'one sided-lover' too and be degraded for just loving someone . Love is not a crime you know ?

I don't deserve to be tied to false hopes, I don't deserve empty I love you's not reciprocated back. I don't deserve to stay in love with a person who doesn't love me back. There's so much more to my life than chasing you, you who are a dream that will never come true. I deserve someone who cares for me the way I care for him. I don't deserve the hate, I don't deserve the fall outs and I don't deserve to feel that I am not enough.

I deserve so much better than that.
Don't you think ?

I will always be grateful for your kindness towards me and will always respect you. And trust me I assure you,

We'll now be
Just friends.

Shehnaaz.

________________________

I was missing the angst in a story so much, so here I am with a new concept . Rest of the things will unfold as the story proceeds.

VOTE AND COMMENT.
love ,
S💕