"I'm not kidding, Xena. I like you since high school. I wasn't able to tell you that because you were with Achilles that time."
Napaawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. I don't know how to react! I couldn't find the right words to say to him. He rendered me speechless, goodness!
Worry crossed Luther's eyes.
"Nabigla ka ba? I really like you, Xena. And I'm not going to say sorry for telling you that. Hell, I regretted not telling it to you way back then! Especially when you left, I regretted everything that I didn't do. I should have told you how special you are to me. I thought I already lost you, Xena. I spent years finding you and now that you're here, I am not going to let this slip away. I've been longing for this chance, Xena. Wait, it's not only infatuation. I know and I feel it that I love you. I love you, Xena."
I was out of words. There is no meaningful thought that I can compose in my head. My mind is haywired.
"I-I don't know what to say," I stuttered.
Ito ba ang gusto ko? Ito ba ang kalinawan na kailangan ng sistema ko? Kung ito na yun, bakit mas lalong gumulo ang isip ko? Bakit mas lalong nagwala ang puso ko? Tell me, how the fuck did he invade my system?
"You l-like me?" Ulit ko. Baka kasi nabibingi lang ako.
"No. I'm inlove with you," Luther dramatically answered.
"W-Why? I'm a mess Luther. I'm... I'm not pure. I'm broken," tugon ko sa kanya at baka rin sakaling mahimasmasan siya sa mga sinasabi niya.
"I'm ready to fix you, Xena. I'm willing to be the spare part for your missing pieces," he said as he hold my hand over the table.
Again, I couldn't speak. Nangangapa ako ng mga salita. Walang ibang laman ang utak ko kundi ang mga sinabi niya.
Mahal niya ako.
Pero, bakit ako?
Hindi pa ako handang magmahal ulit. Natatakot akong madurog ulit. Kaka-heal ko lang at ayoko pang masugatan ulit. I can't risk...loving again.
Not now.
"I'm not yet ready, Luther. I'm sorry," I bowed my head down.
I can't look at him. I might break. He's giving off too much intensity that I am not able to take it.
"Hindi naman kita minamadali, Xena. Alam ko ang pinagdaanan mo at naiintindihan kong nahihirapan ka. We're going to go at your own pace. All I want to say is that I'm here and I won't hide in the dark anymore. You have me now, Xena. I'll always wait for you."
Tumingin ako sa kanya at nanghihinang ngumiti.
"Uwi na tayo," pagkatapos noon ay tumayo na agad ako at dumiretso sa sasakyan niya.
Hinayaan niya akong manahimik buong biyahe. Hindi ko alam kung paano magre-react hanggang ngayon. I'm in shock and I know he understands that.
Pagkarating ay dumiretso na ako sa kwarto ko. Hindi ko na napansin kung nakauwi na ba si Mama pero siguro naman ay nandito na siya.
Malaki na siya, kaya na niya ang sarili niya.
It's 2:00 in the morning and I can't sleep! Nakailang baling na ako sa kama ko. Frustrated akong bumangon at kinuha ang cellphone ko.
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Tattooed Soul (UNEDITED)
सामान्य साहित्यUNEDITED Xeres Nathalia Sandoval is just a simple girl wanting to feel loved. She only wish for a love that is genuine, a love that will never abandon. Failing to find love from her family made her want to seek it in different things. When Xena tho...
