Tattooed Soul (UNEDITED)

Bente Siyete

Mayroong mga bagay sa mundo na ayaw mo ng maalala. Iyon ay ang mga bagay na pilit ibinabaon sa limot. Maaaring ayaw nang maalala kasi hindi naging maganda ang kinalabasan. Maaaring dahil ang pag-alala dito ay nag-iiwan lamang ng sakit.

Isa si Aki sa gusto ko ng ibaon sa limot. Ayaw ko na siyang makita. Akala ko maayos na ako pero ang makita si Aki ngayon sa harapan ko ang nagpatunay na kahit ilan pang taon ang lumipas, mananatiling nakaukit sa akin ang nangyari sa nakaraan. Ngunit hindi ibig sabihin noon na hindi pa ako nakaka-move on. Hindi dahil naaapektuhan pa ako ay may nararamdaman pa ako kay Aki.

Wala na akong nararamdaman sa kanya. Matagal nang wala. Siguro ang natitira na lang sa akin ay hinanakit. Ilang taon man ang lumipas, mananatili sa akin na isa siyang gago.

"W-What are you doing here?" I asked stuttering.

Luther held the small of my back, assuring me that he's here and I'm not alone. I am thankful that I have Luther in my life. He makes me feel that being alone is sad. That is why I couldn't take it anymore if even Luther will leave me.

"Xena, I want to talk to you," Aki said looking directly at me.

"Talk about what?" I asked. Isiniksik ko ang sarili ko kay Luther, takot na kapag malayo ako sa kanya ay masasaktan ako.

"Maybe we can talk somewhere private?" He asked and then look at Luther. Napailing ako. Hindi ako sasama sa kanya kapag hindi ko kasama si Luther.

We went to the nearest cafe. Aki drove his car while I went with Luther. We ordered some drinks and the place was awfully awkward. No one dared to speak. We just sat there, silently looking at each other.

"If you don't have anything to say, we'll now leave," I broke the silence.

"I want to apologize," Aki quickly said. Napatingin ako sa kanya at unti-unting kumalma.

"I want to say sorry for everything that I did to you back then. I'm sorry. I was a jerk. I know there is nothing I can do to ease your pain. I can't bring back the life that was taken. I'm sorry for causing you so much pain, Xena. Believe me, I regretted all of that. At first I thought that I am not capable of loving. All I thought was I could only inflict pain. But Molly came. Molly is sometimes a real bitch, she's admitting it though," he said and laughed at the mention of Molly's name, his soon-to-be-wife.

"Molly loves me. She made me believe that I can love too. So please Xena, forgive us. Forgive Molly. Attend our wedding for the sake of your cousin. She wants to see you. She thinks you are avoiding her," he said pleadingly.

I sighed.

"You got me all wrong Aki. I have already forgiven you both. Okay na sa akin. Natanggap ko na naman. But can you respect me if I choose not to come?" I said respectfully. "The wedding can continue without my presence. So, if you went here just to make me come, I'm sorry but I can't."

And then I stood up. I felt Luther's presence behind me. Napag-usapan na naman namin ang kasal nila. Luther clearly understood my reason why I don't want to come.

"Are you okay, love?" He said when we entered his car.

"Of course," I smiled at him.

I feel a lot better now. Parang nawala 'yong bigat na dala-dala ko. Maybe all I need was Aki's apologize after all.

I have always loved the moon, like how I was mesmerized by his sparkling eyes. They say he brings hell and so I believed that you were a devil.